How to listen to someone when there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there

We’ve all been there- someone is telling you a story, probably an extremely personal one that requires your full attention, but also there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there, bathed i…

Backed into a corner, Liberals make deal to follow through on some of their election promises

OTTAWA – The federal Liberal and NDP parties have come to an agreement, where in exchange for passing confidence motions and budget bills, the Liberals will acquiesce and follow through on …

Let’s Go Brandon, Manitoba! tourism campaign deemed failure

BRANDON, MB – The Tourism Board of Manitoba had prematurely ended a campaign designed to draw travelers to the city of Brandon, Manitoba, citing ‘unforeseen circumstances.’ Mackenzie …

Report: wanting COVID to be over and it actually being over technically two different things

TORONTO – As provinces around the country abandon vaccine and mask mandates, a shocking new report has concluded that just because we’d all like the pandemic to be over, doesn’t…

Engineer who graduated ten years ago discovers traces of purple paint behind ear

TORONTO – An engineer who graduated a full decade ago has discovered he still has a bit of purple paint behind his ear. Cole Sterling was just a bright-eyed and moderately drunk engineering stude…

Friend insists you gotta watch first 17 seasons of TV show before it gets good

NETFLIX, Internet – Your friend just scolded you for giving up the show he wanted you to watch after you reported only watching the first three seasons and not liking it. “Dude, you didn’t …

REPORT: toe beans an excellent source of Vitamin EEEEEEE

GUELPH, ON – Researchers at the Ontario Veterinary College have published a paper containing a groundbreaking discovery: toe beans are an excellent source of Vitamin EEEEEEE. The researchers made…

Manitoba Premier confident this moment of silence for Ukraine could use a story about her kid’s karate class

WINNIPEG – After using a question about a woman’s death as an excuse to talk about her son’s hockey team earlier this week, Manitoba Premier Heather Stefanson thought it would be a good ide…

Nation’s dogs just super here for everyone right now

VICTORIA, BC – Dogs across the nation report that they know you’re having a rough time lately and they’re ready to give you whatever the heck you need, okay? “Normally, my owner wakes me up with …

Doug Ford informs School Boards they can have mask mandates if they go to Private Schools

QUEEN’S PARK – After appearing to reject the Toronto District School Board’s request to extend mask mandates, Premier Ford clarified that they can keep the mandates provided they begin atte…