Danielle Smith offers Albertans $100 rebates after spinning giant policy wheel again
EDMONTON — Premier Danielle Smith has announced that many Albertans will receive a $100 energy rebate after listening to her closest advisor, a big wheel of policy ideas she keeps in her office c…
Hockey Night In Canada moves from CBC to Rogers; Canadian Cultural Identity reduced to butter tarts, Eugene Levy
OTTAWA – With CBC losing the rights to air Hockey Night In Canada, meaning fans must now pay to watch it on Rogers Sportsnet, the entirety of Canadian culture now consists solely of butter …
Everything you need to know about Trump’s Iran deal
The details of Trump’s Memorandum Of Understanding with Iran have finally been released. Here is everything you need to know. 1. The deal is a 14 point plan, one point for every time Trump …
Local man willing to overlook the military-industrial complex for two hours to enjoy Top Gun
OWEN SOUND – In an age where the concept of the guilty pleasure currently reigns supreme, just how far is the average citizen willing to go with that guilt? This week, an exclusive interview with…
“I miss my ex” says woman who misses ex’s cat
MEDICINE HAT, AB – A local woman who claims to miss her ex-boyfriend really just misses her ex’s pet cat. “He was always so warm and affectionate, you know?” said Isabelle Lang, staring wistfully…
Trump successfully diverted to inflatable decoy G7
ÉVIAN, FRANCE – The 2026 G7 summit has thus far yielded successful talks between the world’s top leaders, largely due to US President Donald Trump being tricked early on into joining …
Trump insists it’s very normal for the winners of wars to pay billions to the losers
WASHINGTON D.C. – As details leak of the Iran-US peace plan, including a rumoured $300 billion reparations payment from the US to the Iranian regime, President Donald Trump was quick to rea…
Upper Middle Class redefined as being able to watch YouTube without ads
NATIONWIDE – A recent study of Canadian living standards has found that the modern-day equivalent of being in the lower end of the upper social classes is spending money on a monthly YouTub…
Vance, Rubio compete in White House UFC undercard
WASHINGTON D.C. – As part of the UFC Freedom 250 match, President Donald J. Trump’s demanded an 80th birthday present to himself which saw Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of Sta…
Laval Tim Hortons shockingly awarded three Michelin stars for flatbread pizza
Laval, QC – Michelin announced today that it is awarding three stars to a Tim Hortons in Laval for the “culinary divinity that is their flatbread pizza”. The guide has surprisingly few word…
