WEST VIRGINIA- In a time when most states are struggling with low mortality rates, West Virginia Governor and local boyboss Jim Justice (R) is offering state residents a chance to win guns if the…
Tag: Featured Post
National Post suggests replacing all parks with giant statues of John A. Macdonald
TORONTO – After successfully mining hate clicks with editorials suggesting we privatize all parks and that ending our glorification of John A. Macdonald amounts to cancelling all history, t…
Local toddler tall enough to reach the sink, can finally do Lady MacBeth scene
PRINCE GEORGE, BC – Local precocious toddler Emma Jonasson has finally grown tall enough to reach her family’s bathroom sink, which means that not only can she wash her hands all by herself…
Man daydreams of being rich person’s dog for 5th time today
TORONTO – Local man, Andrew Tan, has spent a lot of time lately thinking how great it would be to be a rich person’s dog instead of a human male forced to make his life fulfilling. “I’ve be…
Polyamorous NACI officials recommend mixing and matching vaccines, partners
TORONTO — Canada’s National Advisory Committee on Immunization (NACI) updated its guidelines this week to indicate that doses of the Moderna, Pfizer, and AstraZeneca vaccines can be safely combin…
Dominatrix offers her Subs new punishment that replicates pain, humiliation of being a Leafs fan
TORONTO – Mistress Saphira, a local Dom who specializes in unique tortures for her clients to endure, has developed a new punishment for Subs eager to feel the pain & humiliation Leafs …
Man too embarrassed to finally ask what COVID is
SASKATOON – 33-year-old Jackson Shepherd still doesn’t know what COVID is and is now way too embarrassed to ask about it. “When I got back from a camping trip last year everyone was talking about…
Old computer has no idea it’s being used to shop for new computer
KAMLOOPS, BC – Trevor Adams’ 2010 Macbook Pro is completely oblivious to the fact that, despite years of loyal service, it is currently aiding Adams’ to find its replacement. “I do fe…
Liberals hold emergency session to teach MPs what cameras do
OTTAWA- After MP William Amos was caught with his pants down again in a public Zoom session, The Liberal Party has called an emergency session to show their caucus how cameras actually work as th…
Millennial woman horrified to learn she just wakes up early now
Dartmouth, NS – A millennial woman has been horrified to discover that she just wakes up early now, all on her own. Brittany Austin, 31, made the frightening discovery last weekend, when she atte…
