Justin Trudeau honours women on International Women’s Day by releasing photo spread of himself
OTTAWA – To celebrate International Women’s Day, Justin Trudeau is honouring the women of Canada by releasing a new photo spread of himself. “I’m recognizing the contribution of women in ou…
First ever wind-powered vehicle breaks land speed record, kills 53
Black Rock Desert, NEVADA – Cleantech automotive’s innovative wind-powered vehicle has shredded the world land speed record along with approximately 50 spectators. The new vehicle equipped …
Kim Jung-un boasts to West about North Korea’s record low obesity rate
PYONGYANG – North Korea’s supreme leader Kim Jong-un has bragged to Western leaders about his country’s resoundingly low obesity rate. “The Americans tremble at the ferocity of our citizens…
Archaeologists discover ancient subway buried beneath Toronto
THE LOST CITY OF TORONTO – Archaeologists from Simon Fraser University have uncovered the remains of an ancient transportation system below the surface of Canada’s largest settlement, in wh…
Progressive Pope gives up celibacy for Lent
HOLY SEE – Continuing the trend of his liberal reign as Catholicism’s spiritual leader, Pope Francis I has announced that he will be giving up celibacy for Lent this year. As modern traditi…
Baird threatens to send adrift Canadian warship in Russia’s general direction
KYIV – Foreign Minister John Baird has threatened to deploy the adrift warship HMCS Protecteur in the general direction of Russian waters if Russia does not pull its troops out of the Crime…
Ukraine Crisis: NATO ready to flex its letter writing muscle
BRUSSELS – The North Atlantic Treaty Organization has mobilized 30,000 troops from European alliance ready to engage in a full scale letter writing campaign in the event of an armed conflic…
Unbelievably cool 19-year-old names pet kitten Kerouac
TORONTO – Sources close to thoughtful, highly literate, yet whimsical 19-year-old Kyle Wendcott alerted press yesterday that in a characteristically tasteful move, he has named his new pet …
Employee improves net earnings by using less effort per hour
KING CITY, ON – With the likelihood of an increase in minimum wage diminishing with each passing increase in the cost of living, one man is bucking this trend by working less to increase hi…
