Fans disappointed after Brangelina wedding fails to give meaning to their lives
LOS ANGELES – Fans of actors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie found themselves at a crossroads this week, after news of the celebrity couple’s recent nuptials failed to add a trace of meaning to thei…
Politicians quickly change opinion of their now deceased colleague
OTTAWA – In a sign of respect, politicians of all stripes have promptly changed their opinion of their now deceased colleague from negative to positive. “He was a great man,” lied a fellow …
IMF unveils elite new currency only rich people can use
WASHINGTON — International Monetary Fund Managing director Christine Lagarde yesterday unveiled a new luxury currency that will be used to provide those in the one percent a stable, convenient al…
Man adds stick figure family to back windshield compensating for loneliness, sterility
THUNDER BAY – Arthur Brown, 38, has decorated the rear windshield of his 2001 Toyota Matrix with a fictitious family in order to blend into a new neighbourhood, masking the loneliness and s…
Canada Post to push people out of wheelchairs to see if home delivery needed
OTTAWA – Persons with disabilities, seniors and the very ill will now be required to be pushed out of their wheelchairs by Canada Post in order to prove that they need home delivery service…
New $6 Starbucks drink consists entirely of foam
TORONTO – Kicking off its new Fall menu next week, Starbucks has unveiled its new drink that consists entirely of foam. The ‘Frothachino’ consists of small bubbles made from a steamer and c…
Sun Media unable to get Facebook satire tag removed from articles
TORONTO – Sun Media has reported difficulty in getting Facebook’s new ‘satire’ tag removed from their articles. “I just don’t understand what we’re doing wrong,” said columnist Joe Warmingt…
Burger King execs still waiting in line at Tim Hortons
SARNIA, ON – A pair of Burger King executives were late for a merger meeting after being stuck in a line for over 20-minutes at a local Tim Hortons. The quick service restaurant executives …
Harper: ‘But there are so many aboriginal women that aren’t missing’
OTTAWA – Addressing concerns over comments made earlier this week regarding the death of 15-year-old Tina Fontaine, Harper told reporters yesterday that, while aboriginal women are 3.5 time…
