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Leading physicists claim Mark Carney’s elbows are in a quantum superposition of up and down simultaneously
Waterloo, ON – The Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics put out a statement saying that after months of careful study, they can now claim that Prime Minister Mark Carney’s elbows are…
Patriotic Canadians resigned to consuming Pizza Pizza
BARRIE – In the face of the Trump administration’s trade war, everyday Canadians have been taking drastic measures to support the Canadian economy – such as purchasing and pretending to genuinely…
Elizabeth May says she won’t lead Green Party in next election after Green Party tells her same thing
SIDNEY, B.C. – Green Party Leader Elizabeth May told supporters Tuesday that she won’t be leading the party into the next election, after Green Party leaders, members, and staff told …
Point/Counterpoint: The Nintendo Switch 2 is Too Expensive vs. Big Monkey Smash Rocks
Point, The Nintendo Switch 2 is Too Expensive There is an alarming trend occurring in the video game industry where consumers will purchase anything despite the increasingly high price margins. T…
Air Canada, union reach deal, forcing travelers to fly Air Canada again
MONTREAL – As stranded passengers celebrated the news that a tentative deal had been reached by Air Canada and the union representing flight attendants, the mood was tempered by the realiza…
Bruce Fanjoy wins Battle River-Crowfoot by-election
CAMROSE, AB – In yet another shocking electoral upset, Conservative leader and former Member of Parliament Pierre Poilievre has somehow been defeated once again in today’s by-election…
Air Canada consoles stranded passengers with pictures of their executive bonuses
OTTAWA – With thousands of passengers still facing travel delays as flight attendants strike for fair working conditions, Air Canada executives have decided to comfort customers by sending …
Poilievre promises Battle River-Crowfoot if elected they will never see him again
CAMROSE, AB – Speaking to a rally in the closing days of this summer’s by-election, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre assured voters that electing him would ensure that they would …
As strike looms, Air Canada thrilled to have new excuse to cancel flights
MONTREAL – Air Canada’s flight attendants have issued a strike notice, prompting the airline to swiftly embrace a new and exciting reason to cancel flights. “I’ve blamed flight cancellations on m…
Trump demands 20% gratuity for selling Ukraine to Putin
ANCHORAGE, AK – International political observers are stunned today after U.S. President Donald Trump made the controversial move of asking Russian President Vladimir Putin for a 20% gratui…
