TORONTO – In a stunning display of complete lack of self awareness, a group of friends sitting down to eat at Earls assured their server that they would be “Such an easy table!” despite the…
Work
Fired employee indicted for stealing from workplace
MIAMI – A former employee of the United States federal government who was let go due to extreme incompetence has just been indicted on charges of stealing from his erstwhile employer. Donal…
Diversity hire? Golf Town recruits white guy with ADHD
Barrie, ON – In a stunning move toward equity, diversity and inclusion, Golf Town hired Adam Grunt, a straight, white man with ADHD, to manage its Barrie location. “As a marginalized person, this…
“Can’t complain,” says cashier who’ll get fired if she complains
TORONTO — Sam Baquiran, cashier at a Shoppers Drug Mart on Pape and Danforth, recently had a customer ask how she was doing. “Can’t complain,” she responded, given that she’ll lose her job if she…
Standing desk a great reminder of how nice it is to sit down
CALGARY – Local accounts manager Regina Lackie has discovered her new standing desk has an exciting unexpected benefit – it reminds her of how nice it is to sit down. Lackie purchased…
“I’ve got a great new side hustle”, says woman about second full-time job
VICTORIA, BC – Local resin artist Rivka Fiore is singing the praises of side-hustle culture as she celebrates her 500th order on her online site. “It’s been so liberating compared to my off…
Zuckerberg banishes 11,000 workers to the Metaverse
MENLO PARK, CA – After disappointing results in the latest quarter, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg sent out a notice to his workforce that the company is expelling 11,000 employees from corporeal…
Oh no! Unread email continues to exist
WINNIPEG – Local account manager Meghan Gessele was horrified this week to discover that, upon returning to her workstation after using the restroom, an unread email she had left unread was…
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee!” says co-worker who is still terrible after they’ve had their coffee
WHITBY, ON – Local office worker Lindy Jensen has reportedly started every morning at her job by telling co-workers not to talk to her until she’s had her coffee, despite the caffeine doing…
Advocate for return-to-office policies eager to get back to eating other people’s lunches
WINNIPEG, MB — After working from home for two years, local man Calvin Richards is pushing to return to the office so he can get back to eating lunches that don’t belong to him. “It’s time we all…