America’s influencers suspiciously all start endorsing feudalism
PALO ALTO, CA – Across the United States and Canada social media users have noticed a recent trend of influencers heartily endorsing a system of landowning elites extracting service and lab…
Riyadh Comedy Festival opens with up-and-coming executioner
RIYADH, KSA – As Saudi Arabia’s new comedy festival welcomes talent from around the world, local executioner Imad Usman is excited for the opportunity to perform in front of larger audiences. “I…
15-second ad ruins hour of mindless scrolling
CALGARY – Local scroller Kyle Townsend has been forced to watch a brief commercial for paper towels, completely ruining his hour spent flitting aimlessly between Instagram, X/Twitter, Facebook, a…
Trump’s Hollywood tariffs force Dune 3 to shoot in Mississippi
Jackson, Arrakis – President Donald Trump’s proposed tariffs on movies filmed in other countries has forced Dune producers to relocate to Jackson, Mississippi. “It doesn’t quite match the d…
Subway unveils latest sloppy food tube
TORONTO – Reporters have gathered at Toronto’s Yorkville Subway to witness the sandwich company’s latest breakthrough in the field of ladling a bunch of sauce onto some salty meat crammed in a tu…
Netanyahu calls Canadian recognition of Palestine the worst thing anyone has ever done to Palestine
NEW YORK – In a speech before the UN General Assembly, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu declared that Canada officially recognizing Palestine as a state is worse than anything else he could im…
Liberals respond to claim their new crime bill will criminalize legitimate protest: “Yup, that’s the idea.”
“You nailed it man. Way to figure it out!” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and special guest Brandon Hackett) talk about Jimmy Kimmel’s absurd suspension, wonder…
Trump says Ukraine can have all its occupied territory back if it beats Putin’s offer
NEW YORK CITY – In a private meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelenskyy, US President Donald Trump stated he fully believes the embattled nation can take back all of its territory …
Landlord claims space under porch counts as second bedroom
35 Minutes Away From Where You’d Ideally Like To Live – Frank Moriarty, the landlord of the apartment you took the afternoon off from work to view, told you today that the space under the f…
Homophobic! Single lesbian has no girlfriend to watch Lilith Fair documentary with
TORONTO – Local lesbian Charlotte Tremblay reports recently experiencing a terrible incident of targeted discrimination after realizing she has no girlfriend to watch the new Lilith Fair document…
