Federal government opens distress hotline for Canadians forced to cheer for Oilers
OTTAWA – A new federal mental health initiative has seen the opening of a 24/7 distress hotline that will provide emergency support for Canadians who have been forced to cheer for the Oiler…
Minister of International Trade says Canada should apply for EU membership: “Canada is only 19km from France.”
OTTAWA – Minister of International Trade Maninder Sidhu has said Canada should pursue European Union membership as part of the government’s plan to diversify trade away from the United Stat…
Carney invites Mohammed bin Salman to G7, warns Air Canada will make him check bone saw
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has invited Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to this summer’s G7 summit in Kananaskis, Alberta, but warned the autocratic monarch tha…
Inventive refs develop new way to help Panthers win beyond the favourable whistle
Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in…
Carney fights off harsh U.S. authoritarianism with slightly gentler Canadian authoritarianism
OTTAWA — As Americans face the horror of U.S. troops being deployed to American cities on the orders of President Donald Trump to break up peaceful protests, the Canadian government under Prime M…
Pickleball popularity slips with gay seniors “The whole name is misleading”
PORT COLBORNE, ON — Large numbers of gay seniors initially drawn to popular racquet sport pickleball are abandoning the game after realizing it has nothing to do with male genitalia. “We may be g…
Trump reminds Americans he only promised not to start foreign wars
LOS ANGELES – As National Guard troops took to the streets ready to open fire on U.S. citizens in the name of “Making America Great Again”, President Trump reminded all American…
Carney limits G7 guests to one assassination each
OTTAWA – After inviting Indian PM Narendra Modi Prime Minister Mark Carney issued strict rules for the upcoming G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta, limiting assassinations to one per guest n…
Trump, Musk publicly feud over whose father loved them less
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump has spent the day publicly feuding with former billionaire ally Elon Musk, as the two each insisted that they were shown less affection and atten…
Oil Pipelines getting sick of Danielle Smith talking about them all the time
“We get it lady. Find someone else to talk about 24 hours a day.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the “best first ministers meeting in 1…
