CRA addresses long call centre wait times by hiring CRA scammers
OTTAWA – In an effort to cut down call centre wait times, the Canada Revenue Agency has hired a new team of agents uniquely equipped to handle calls from concerned taxpayers: scammers who say you…
Danielle Smith invokes notwithstanding clause to win argument with spouse
EDMONTON – According to sources in the Premier’s household, Danielle Smith has invoked the notwithstanding clause to make her husband take out the trash. “As a libertarian-minded politician and …
Return of Jimmy Kimmel Show cheered by frazzled parents who white knuckled it through a weekend without Disney+
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has announced late night host Jimmy Kimmel will return to ABC, a move cheered by free speech advocates and even more so by exhausted parents who cancel…
Horoscope says Mercury will pass through the fifth house before slamming into your house
YOUR HOME – According to local astrologists, the planet Mercury hates your guts and is coming to kill you and everyone you love. “What your friends and family want you to do and what you need to…
US Ambassador threatens to tariff, annex, and bomb Canada if anti-American sentiment doesn’t improve
OTTAWA – U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra has vowed to improve anti-American sentiment he sees in Canada, no matter how many illegal tariffs, forced annexations, or literal bombs it takes to d…
“Charlie Kirk would have wanted us to get anyone criticizing his views fired,” says man accurately describing why Charlie Kirk deserved criticism
“The guy who created a list of left-wing college professors he wanted fired for their views would want us to fire anyone who pointed out who he created a to be fired list.” Luke and t…
US confirms contestants in all 2028 Olympic track events will be chased by ICE agents
WASHINGTON, DC – In a press conference today, US Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt confirmed that all non-US track and field athletes will be chased by agents of United States Immigration an…
Robert Munsch announces he will choose MAID program, also even sadder new ending to “Love You Forever”
GUELPH, ON – Canadian children’s author Robert Munsch announced this week that he he has chosen a medically assisted death because of his dementia diagnosis, as well as writing an upd…
Alberta to require citizens to carry little picture of Danielle Smith in wallets
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta has declared all citizens must now carry a little picture of Premier Danielle Smith in their wallets. Smith made the announcement this week in front of a gian…
Gullible mother falls for voice cloning scam even though her son would obviously never call
NORVAL, ON ― A 74-year-old woman lost over $60 000 from her retirement savings yesterday in a sophisticated, but in her situation, quite obvious scam, police say. Gina Rossi was just preparing to…
