OTTAWA — Keeping a longstanding tradition alive that dates back to 1993, the Conservative Party has selected woman MP Rona Ambrose to tidy up the mess left by patriarch Stephen Harper.
“The boys have had their fun, and right on schedule, they’re now slipping into a well-deserved scotch-induced slumber”, said a groggy Pierre Poilievre. “We’re very pleased to have found a strong woman with the forearms and birthing hips necessary to clean up after our formidable leader, Stephen Harper.”
Some of Ambrose’s duties include keeping the Tories out of trouble, convincing MP Tom Lukiwski to keep his fingernails clean and scrubbing the stains out of reputations.
“I just hope she does a better job than that louse Kim Campbell”, said Senator Don Plett, who chided Campbell for her “half-assed” job mopping up the grimy trail left by Brian Mulroney.
Ambrose was unavailable for comment as she was reportedly donning a single string of pearls and safety goggles to clean caucus chambers.
