OTTAWA – Momentum for the ‘replace O’Toole’ movement that began on election night appears to have petered out after Conservative Party members took a quick glance at any o…
Tag: Rona Ambrose
Conservatives sure party members who supported Scheer and Bernier last time will now choose a centrist leader with mass appeal
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party leadership contest officially gets underway party insiders expressed confidence that the same members who last time supported libertarian, racist uncle Ma…
Stock photo of white guy wins Conservative leadership race
TORONTO – In a surprise upset yesterday, the Conservative Party of Canada elected a stock photo of a 30-something smiling white man as their party leader. “When it comes to stock photos, th…
Environment Canada requests additional funding to replace obsolete wildlife
OTTAWA – Following a disappointing lack of innovation in both the flora and fauna sectors, Environment Minister Catherine McKenna has requested additional federal funds to improve Canada…
Tories continue to rebrand by removing wicker man ritual from party constitution
OTTAWA – After recently ending their opposition to gay marriage, the Conservative Party of Canada is continuing to rebrand, this time by resolving to no longer burn human captives inside of…
Rona Ambrose slowly lowers live goat into pit full of Tory backbenchers
OTTAWA – During question period today, interim leader of the Conservative Party Rona Ambrose used her time to feed a live goat to several dozen ravenous Tory backbenchers. “We are not to be…
Tories: ‘Reinstated mandatory census is unfair to however many Canadians there are’
OTTAWA – The Conservative party came out against the mandatory census again this week, saying that it creates undue stress and is totally irrelevant to all of the several million people cur…
Tories slam Liberal budget’s reckless acknowledgement of First Nations, veterans
OTTAWA – Conservative Party leaders had harsh words for the federal budget tabled by Finance Minister Bill Morneau yesterday, blasting the Liberal government for its “irresponsible” acknowledgeme…
Trudeau edges budget halfway off table to demonstrate it balancing itself
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has silenced critics by carefully placing the Liberal government’s budget halfway off of a table, where according to sources it teetered precariously …
Sophie Trudeau interrupts husband’s budget speech with spirited rendition of ‘Ol’ Man River.’
OTTAWA — Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau stole the spotlight from her husband today, halting his parliamentary budget speech with an inspiring interpretation of a classic piece of African American strugg…