Local man has more plans for zombie apocalypse than own retirement
VANCOUVER – Local tech blogger Scott McGrath has prepared a far more comprehensive plan for a hypothetical zombie pandemic than he ever has or ever will for his own future retirement. “It’s…
Feds approve controversial maple syrup pipeline
OTTAWA – Despite drawing criticism for considerable construction costs and possible environmental damage, the Government has given the go ahead to a pipeline linking maple syrup producing r…
New dating app “Tradr Datr” allows you to send out more attractive person on dates
TORONTO – The makers of “Personal Dating Assistant,” the site that offers its users consultants who manage your online dating profile for you, have developed a new app that allo…
Feds still deciding if Sea King replacement helicopter will include rotors
OTTAWA – Defence officials are still deciding if the helicopter selected to replace the aging Sea King will include the helicopter’s only source of lift. “The CH-148 Cyclone has been chosen…
Changeling baby much better behaved
DEER CREVICE, ON – A week after their human baby was replaced during the night by an unsettling near-replica, local parents Dave and Samantha Grumner say that their lives are much more peac…
Alarming report suggests catastrophic climate change could alter purchasing habits
YOKOHAMA, JAPAN – An alarming new report suggests that the effects of catastrophic climate change could ultimately impact the way humans consume products and respond to advertising. “For ye…
Redskins owner files urgent trademark application for Washington ‘Holocaust Deniers’
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After the federal patent office revoked the Washington Redskins team trademark due to the word being a racial slur, owner Daniel Snyder has filed a new trademark applicat…
Toronto zoo boosts attendance with new ‘all you can eat’ ticket
TORONTO – To kickstart the busy summer season, the Metro Toronto Zoo has introduced a new “buffet style” experience for interested visitors. “Zoos are great resources for conservation effor…
Lady expert Peter MacKay explains how menstrual cycle affects judicial decisions
At a recent Ontario Bar Association Event, Justice Minister and renowned expert on women Peter MacKay explained the dangers of having a female judge make a ruling during her period. “I feel like …
I always use Pure Green Coffee Bean weight loss capsules™ to slim down for my high profile congressional hearings
BY: DR MEHMET OZ When I was asked to appear in front of a U.S. Senate panel for promoting potentially fraudulent weight loss pills on my show, my first thought was: I’ve got to drop 5 pounds, and…
