Forest fire devastates millions of acres of good firewood
SAN DIEGO – As firefighters extinguished the last smoldering embers of an extensive forest fire, residents and industries were heartbroken about the loss of perfectly good firewood that the…
Hudak blames economists, math, unions, civil servants, the elderly, youth, middle class, the poor, Ontarians for defeat
TORONTO – Outgoing Ontario Progressive Conservative Leader Tim Hudak has faulted the resounding electoral defeat of his party on economists, math, unions, civil servants, the elderly, youth…
Soccer fans warming up car horns for World Cup
TORONTO – Football (or soccer) fans in the nation’s largest city are busy preparing their car horns ahead of the World Cup this year in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so they can honk them ceasele…
How can Team Canada get into the next World Cup?
Canada has not made the World Cup since 1986. How can Team Canada make the next one? 1. Call it football – not soccer – like everybody else 2. Out-bribe the highest FIFA bidder 3. Wai…
Saskatoon honours Joni Mitchell with new parking lot
SASKATOON – After years of contemplation on how to pay tribute to an iconic Canadian musician, the City of Saskatoon will honour Joni Mitchell with a 400 space parking lot. The Joni Mitchel…
Google unveils carless driver
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA – In a move that promises to ravish and dilapidate the transportation industry, technology leviathan Google, Inc. has revealed ‘Walker’: a fully-functional p…
English Canadian unable to explain Quebec to foreign friend
OTTAWA – Shortly after welcoming his friend Jack from Australia into his home, local man Stephen Christie found himself unable to properly satisfy his visitors’ many questions about Quebec …
Slightly too many chicken wings consumed
TORONTO- Disaster struck a local half-price wing night when local “wingthusiast” Lindsey Sarpedelli ordered a second pound of chicken wings and wound up feeling “a little bit bloated and a lot be…
Porn star degrades herself by running for Toronto mayor
TORONTO – Friends and family of adult film star Nikki Benz find themselves at a loss to explain the actress’ baffling decision to debase herself by running in the upcoming Toronto mayoral electio…
