By: Philippe Couillard, Premier of Quebec I was saddened to hear that a Montreal man, Amor Ftouhi, was arrested as a suspect in the terrorist attack that occurred at Bishop International Airport in Fl...
Science win! Neil DeGrasse Tyson just destroyed this climate change denier by throwing him into a volcano
Just when you thought Neil DeGrasse Tyson couldn’t win the internet any harder, he outdoes himself. The astrophysicist and Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey host gets a lot of tweets from flat-earthers and ...
Portage and Main: Winnipeg considers removing pedestrian barriers, armed guard tower that fires at jaywalkers
WINNIPEG – The City of Winnipeg is mulling over the possible removal of pedestrian barriers and an armed guard tower that opens fire on any jaywalkers trying to cross at Portage and Main. The ic...
Shadowy cabal agrees to buy bigger conference table
ZURICH – The clandestine organization of billionaire power brokers responsible for controlling the world’s destiny has reportedly decided to purchase a larger conference table. “The vote is unan...
Torrie Lauren: Lamestream Media
Torrie knows exactly who is to blame for Trump’s poll numbers....
Emergency officials: Is your home 72 hours booze prepared?
TORONTO – Emergency management officials are advising citizens to plan for booze-related disasters by having at least 72 hours worth of alcoholic beverages. “Being aware of the risks of not havi...
DEVELOPING: Woman who said “Long story short” still fucking talking
ETOBICOKE- At 8:39pm, local woman Sofia Cara entered into a conversation with neighbour Jennifer Moore that has yet to end. “I knew at minute twenty one, when she said ‘long story short’ f...
Hanlan’s Point flooding drives nudist herd inland
TORONTO – Prolonged flooding at Hanlan’s Point Beach on the Toronto Island has forced the area’s endemic nudist population to migrate to the mainland, sparking a flurry of nudist sightings in To...
Toronto Zoo torn down to make room for animal condos
TORONTO – Citing the increasing cost of housing and a higher population density, the Toronto Zoo has announced that they will be tearing down all exhibits to make space for three high-rise anima...
High school graduate taking year off to throw up in exotic locations
TORONTO – Local 12th grade student Lindsay Fleming is planning on taking a year off between high school and university so she can travel around the world, find herself, and puke up booze in beau...
