As the protagonist of a popular video game, I’m no stranger to acquiring an extensive number of seemingly pointless items which I know will eventually go on to serve a critical purpose. And nobo...
Commitment-phobic boyfriend manages to binge watch all 12 seasons of ‘Bones’
EDMONTON – Chad Sandford stunned his on-again, off-again girlfriend of 5 years, Karen McClinton, when he managed to binge watch all 12 seasons of the TV show Bones. McClinton was initially suspicious ...
QUIZ: Are you on a staycation or being held against your will?
What better way to save money and get to know yourself than to just camp out for a long weekend at your own humble abode. But for many of us it’s hard to find the time to even do that… and for others,...
After consulting tenancy act, local woman decides to ask landlord for her kidneys back
TORONTO – After a fractious relationship with her landlord caused her to consult the Ontario Landlord and Tenant Act, local woman Huma Sayeed has decided to ask him for her kidneys back. “It’s c...
Woman with freezer full of overripe bananas dies never having made banana bread
UXBRIDGE, ON – Maureen Gibson, passed away at the age of 87 this Monday surrounded by loved ones and a freezer full of bananas she had been meaning to make into banana bread. “I’ve lived a beaut...
Loose cannon health inspector asked to hand in his digital thermometer
CAMROSE, AB – A renegade public health inspector who is known for bending the rules to get the bottom of his cases has been asked to hand in his badge and digital thermometer by his superiors. “...
3 Adorable Dogs You Can Adopt Today Because They Irresponsibly Trapped Their Owners in a Hot Car
We all love dogs! But sometimes they will make the woeful mistake of locking the human beings that care for them inside of cars on hot, sunny days. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, those...
The Beer Store launches delivery service in Scarborough to comfort citizens forced to live in Scarborough
SCARBOROUGH — Starting Tuesday, residents in Scarborough will be able to have their beer delivered straight to their door, saving them from having to go out into the barren suburban sprawl that ...
Couple hoping board game night won’t turn into orgy again
ST. CATHARINES, ON – Opening a bottle of wine and selection of cheeses for a semi-regular gathering between friends, a local couple is dreading the possibility that this evening’s board game nig...
Prison & Politics: Episode 2
Is it time to raise the prison minimum wage to 15 cents an hour?...
