Embarrassed Pence carries crying Trump out of cabinet meeting

WASHINGTON D.C. – A frustrated Mike Pence has been spotted carrying a screaming and wailing Donald Trump out of the White House cabinet meeting room. “I swear he doesn’t normally act like t…

Editorial: My rant against Jews was taken out of context by the vast Jewish conspiracy which controls the world

BY: GAVIN McINNES, CONTRIBUTOR TO REBEL MEDIA Over the past few days, I have faced a backlash over the release of a video I recorded for my online show in which I talk about all the reasons I hat…

Twenty-nine-year-old woman found tragically thirty in her home

TORONTO – A community is grieving today after a local 29-year-old was discovered tragically thirty in her bedroom this morning. Witnesses say she felt little pain. “She was resigned to it a…

RCMP accidentally deploy Musical Ride during hostage negotiations

Pulteney, AB – In a police-related mix up, RCMP unwittingly deployed the Mounties famed Musical Ride to a hostage situation in rural Alberta. Police surrounded an isolated farmhouse after r…

Climactic showdown ruins another night shift at local steel mill

Sudbury, ON – Yet another work shift at a local steel mill was ruined this evening, as local protagonist Dr. Rick Powers had his final face off against sworn rival and disgraced former Lieu…

NSA unveils new line of ‘TOTALLY NORMAL’ appliances

Fort Meade, MD. – Following Trump senior counselor Kellyanne Conway’s speculation that Trump was wiretapped with a microwave, the US National Security Agency unveiled a new line of home app…

Citing political gender barriers, practical girl dreams of becoming MP’s assistant

VANCOUVER – After much debate and an extensive investigation, honour roll student Nina Periwal, 16, has committed to setting her sights on becoming an MP’s assistant. Periwal had long aspir…

FIFA reminds Trump to leave corruption, racism to the professionals

LONDON – In light of Donald Trump’s travel ban, FIFA president Gianni Infantino has said that the US could be prevented from hosting a future World Cup should the president continue to encr…

Origin of fake news traced back to Johannes Gutenberg

  Fake news, also known as lying, has been around for hundreds of years.…

Millions of healthy gut bacteria vote to unionize

NAPANEE, ON – Millions of microbes assembled in the descending colon of Curtis Lawrence to vote to officially unionize their collective as Gastrointestinal Tract Workers Local 298. “We reco…