Torrie Lauren: Lamestream Media
Torrie knows exactly who is to blame for Trump’s poll numbers.…
Emergency officials: Is your home 72 hours booze prepared?
TORONTO – Emergency management officials are advising citizens to plan for booze-related disasters by having at least 72 hours worth of alcoholic beverages. “Being aware of the risks of not…
DEVELOPING: Woman who said “Long story short” still fucking talking
ETOBICOKE- At 8:39pm, local woman Sofia Cara entered into a conversation with neighbour Jennifer Moore that has yet to end. “I knew at minute twenty one, when she said ‘long story shortR…
Hanlan’s Point flooding drives nudist herd inland
TORONTO – Prolonged flooding at Hanlan’s Point Beach on the Toronto Island has forced the area’s endemic nudist population to migrate to the mainland, sparking a flurry of nudist sightings …
Toronto Zoo torn down to make room for animal condos
TORONTO – Citing the increasing cost of housing and a higher population density, the Toronto Zoo has announced that they will be tearing down all exhibits to make space for three high-rise …
High school graduate taking year off to throw up in exotic locations
TORONTO – Local 12th grade student Lindsay Fleming is planning on taking a year off between high school and university so she can travel around the world, find herself, and puke up booze in…
Caveman artist enters mammoth period
Chauvet Cave, FRANCE – The Cave art scene was abuzz this week with news that local cave art star Drog has officially dropped horses and entered his Mammoth period. “Drog draw mammoth …
Canada’s new superiority complex shattered by cursory glance at CBC comments section
OTTAWA — In a crushing blow to its upcoming 150th anniversary celebrations, Canada’s emerging sense of comparative superiority to the United States was shattered this week, following a casual loo…
Portraits of Canadiocity: Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz: the least Canadian Canadian?…
Christy Clark and John Horgan agree to joint custody of British Columbia
VANCOUVER – Following weeks of political uncertainty in British Columbia, with no party winning a majority of seats in its most recent provincial election, Liberal leader Christy Clark and …
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