EDMONTON – As a hotly-anticipated blockbuster began playing in a packed theatre, 36-year-old Colin Schneider reassured his fellow moviegoers that he’d put his incredibly bright phone away just as…
Books
Steamy Romantasy goes into specifics of dragon sex
Vancouver, BC – The newest romantasy, Wings of Passion, is incredibly graphic in its specificity about dragon sex. Sarah Butler was excited to read the newest novel by author Becky Yates. T…
Man excited to watch TikTok highlight reel of YouTuber reading Wikipedia summary of novel’s Netflix adaptation
CALGARY – After seeing all the hype surrounding the award-winning novel The Hornet’s Lament, 34-year-old Reagan Turner is excited to borrow the book from the library, read a few pages, then give …
Man intent on reading 50 books this year really ploughing through the Goosebumps
CALGARY – According to friends and family, 37-year-old Jason Rowe is absolutely churning through Goosebumps books in a desperate attempt to hit his 2023 reading goal. “I told him 50 books was too…
Indigo website down, book lovers forced to read books they already own
NATIONWIDE — Following a cyber attack that left the Indigo website inaccessible, book lovers across the country have been forced to turn to the many, many books they already own. “I’m at such a l…
Harry hopes publicizing struggles will help ordinary people with their own world-famous royal families
LOS ANGELES – Speaking at a launch event for his new memoir “Spare”, Prince Harry of the United Kingdom communicated his desire that the book will be used as a tool for regular people dealing wit…
Local man figures he’ll wait until the next internet outage to read a book
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the nex…
Little free library just dumping ground for self-help books that failed to save marriages
CALGARY – A local woman perusing her community’s little free library is disappointed that she can only find weathered self-help books that couldn’t get the job done. “I was hoping to discover a c…
J.K Rowling reveals Voldemort was still bad but right about trans people
LONDON – The author of the beloved Harry Potter series J.K Rowling tweeted today that, while Voldemort was absolutely a villain, his views on trans people were largely correct. The tweet wa…
“Whoa, it’s the best of times?” says dude about to have his shit rocked by Charles Dickens
CALGARY – Sources at the Central Library have reported that Bryce Spooner, who said “Hell yeah, let the good times roll, baby!” when he began A Tale of Two Cities, is about to get his fucking tee…
