TORONTO – Doug Ford’s campaign has confirmed that actors were hired to play Ford Nation supporters outside the Ontario leaders’ debate Monday evening. It is tradition that parties shamelessly in...
Rudy Giuliani really feels like he’s starting to get the hang of this
WASHINGTON — After joining President Trump’s legal defense team and embarking on a series of questionable media interviews, Rudy Giuliani has reportedly stated that he is “easing into this job n...
Alberta UCP vows parents will be alerted at first sign child shows any progressive leanings
RED DEER, AB – The United Conservative Party passed a motion at their convention this past weekend to require that teachers notify parents if their children display signs of holding any sort of ...
Local man excited to regurgitate opinion he saw on Reddit
NEWMARKET, ON – After spending hours scrolling in order to reaffirm his world-view, local man James Reed is delightfully excited to regurgitate an opinion he saw on Reddit. At press time, Reed made a ...
Alberta’s Conservatives call for schools to inform parents if students watched RuPaul’s Drag Race
RED DEER, AB – The United Conservative Party of Alberta held a policy convention last weekend which passed a resolution that will require all of the province’s schools to inform parents if...
Men everywhere finally given excuse to brag about oral sex skills on social media
MIAMI – After DJ Khaled’s 2015 comments resurfaced on social media, straight men everywhere took to their keyboards to finally tell the world how much they like going down on women. DJ Khaled de...
Old guy in hostel wants to know what you’re up to tonight
PRAGUE – Sources inside Sr. Toby’s Hostel have advised that Petrov, the white haired man who has been hanging out in the common area every time you’ve been it, would like to know what your plans...
Woman’s involved nighttime skincare routine enters 4th excruciating hour
RED DEER, AB – Well past midnight on Tuesday, Sara Ahmadi braced herself to begin her fourth hour of skincare. “I think I originally adopted this nighttime routine as a means of self-care, but a...
Opera house phantom resigns amid allegation of sexual misconduct
PARIS – Amid serious allegations including stalking and sexual harassment, the once beloved disfigured singer, known simply as The Phantom, has stepped down from his role as the mysterious man w...
Facebook intentionally leaks billions of embarrassing personal details to show you aren’t perfect either
Menlo Park, CA – Social media giant Facebook announced today that they’ve intentionally leaked billions of its users embarrassing personal failures in an attempt to show the world that, hey, may...
