OTTAWA – Canada is experiencing extremely high COVID-19 rates this summer, and health officials across the country have responded by alerting Canadians to the heightened risk of sunburn while en...
Ontario orders 5 new jet planes to counter theft of helicopters
TORONTO – The Ontario government has ordered a handful of high-altitude jet planes to try and stanch the rash of thieves making off with the helicopters that were purchased to staunch the rash o...
Since he thinks Nazis were socialists because of their name, here are 7 other titles and phrases that must flummox Pierre Poilievre
Pierre Poilievre has repeatedly stated that the Nazis were socialists because their name is a shorthand for National Socialists. This is despite the fact that the Nazis rather infamously imprisoned an...
Collapsed crane obstructing Vancouver street for two weeks gentrified
VANCOUVER – There’s been one silver lining to the large blaze that recently gutted two buildings and displaced eleven people in Vancouver’s Dunbar neighborhood: the transformation of a massive f...
Blue Jays owners shocked to discover you’re allowed to fire Front Office when team sucks every year
TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications, owner of the Toronto Blue Jays, have expressed their shock at the information that they are within their rights to fire the executive team of Mark S...
Doug Ford closes Safe Injection Site to make way for new All-You-Can-Drink Booze Guzzler’s Emporium
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced the imminent shutdown of a local safe injection site in favour of a new retail outlet devoted solely to alcohol consumption. “I have heard ...
Toronto couple living in tiny home enjoy tiny fight about tiny affair
Toronto, ON – A millennial Toronto couple who recently moved into a trendy new tiny home is enjoying their first tiny fight about a tiny affair. “My wife discovered a tiny photo on my phone,” ex...
Conservatives promise that, if they’re elected, your parents will reunite, your fav tv show will be uncancelled and McDonald’s will bring back pizza
OTTAWA – Continuing with their vision of the utopia Canada will be if they are elected, the Conservatives have announced that, within weeks of them taking over government, your life will basical...
