Local man says father “dumb enough” to fall for history’s largest, most sophisticated propaganda network

LANSING, SOUTH DAKOTA — 25 year old business administrator Jayson Milnerd has once again expressed astonishment that his Trump-supporting father is “so ignorant” as to fall for a multibilli…

Jagmeet Singh trades his BMW for a clunker to appeal to working class voters

OTTAWA – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh has traded in his red BMW coupe for a used 1994 Toyota Camry so he can send a message to working class voters that he is one of them. “This car may be wort…

Woman warns coworker of clogged toilet like she shielding rookie officer from mangled corpse

OTTAWA — Reports have confirmed that senior HR administrator Sheryl Leon prevented her colleague, financial analyst Lauren Thomas, from opening the door to a bathroom stall containing a clogged t…

POLL: 100 percent of Albertans believe province will be ruined if those assholes win the election

RED DEER, AB – A new poll has revealed that every single Albertan thinks the province will go to shit if those assholes win the upcoming election. The April 16th vote promises to be a showd…

Trudeau opts to put out fire with kerosene

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took the bold step of putting out a fire out by pouring a bucket of kerosene on it. “I told myself: Justin, this has to end,” Trudeau said, with his j…

Rich fuck eating something gold

NEW YORK CITY –  Even though it adds absolutely no flavour, noted rich fuck, Andy Robinson, 48, of independent investment firm RRBexchange Capital was reported seen paying over $1000 to add…

Politicians pump gas for first time in their lives

NORTH BAY, ON – Ontario PC and federal Conservative politicians have filled up a car’s tank of gas for their very first time with little to no assistance at local gas stations across Ontari…

Worth it? With this IUD you won’t get a period, but you will weep blood for the rest of your life

Period-havers rejoice! Thanks to an exciting new development in IUD technology, with the Meelywna device, you’ll never have to suffer through another menstrual cycle again. The catch? When you cr…

What you need to know about Trudeau’s carbon tax

The federal government has imposed a price on carbon emissions starting April 1st, 2019 for Ontario, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and New Brunswick. Here’s what you need to know.   Cash Rebate Ev…

Ontario introduces “Peanut Butter on Dick” sex-ed curriculum

TORONTO – In a surprising new development in Ontario’s controversial sex-ed curriculum rollback, the Progressive Conservative government announced a province-wide focus on Peanut Butter on …