TORONTO – With Warner Brothers announcing this week that their slate of big 2021 releases; including Dune, Matrix, Suicide Squad 2, and Godzilla Vs Kong will be streaming on HBO Max in the US im...
Health Canada warns of inevitable “spring wave” of terrible COVID-inspired Fringe plays
OTTAWA – As COVID case numbers across the country rise due to the winter weather, Health Canada is warning about the unavoidable “spring wave” of hazardously ill-conceived pandemic inspired inde...
Warner Bros. adds additional boob shots to new Tom and Jerry movie to adhere to HBOMax guidelines
HOLLYWOOD – After the announcement that Warner Bros. is set to stream their 2021 lineup on HBOMax, news surfaced that the remake of cat-and-mouse classic Tom and Jerry, must adhere to the channe...
Brian Pallister eagerly awaits Amazon order for pandemic response plan
WINNIPEG — Amid peak covid cases, declining approval ratings and holiday cancellations, Premier Brian Pallister has ordered a pandemic response plan using Amazon Prime. Sources close to the premier sa...
Office Christmas Party cancellation leaves local man with nowhere to make drunken fool of himself
CALGARY – With his firm forgoing plans for the usual Christmas party this year due to the current pandemic, paralegal Will Sanchez is worried that he will have nowhere to disgrace himself in fro...
Amazon responds to The Queen’s Gambit by ordering limited series about Jenga prodigy
CULVER CITY – In the wake of the worldwide success of the Netflix limited series The Queen’s Gambit, about the rise of fictional chess genius Beth Harmon, Amazon Studios has placed an order for ...
Santa Claus states fake Pandemic won’t stop him from entering anyone’s home
North Pole – Santa Claus has responded to questions about the pandemic affecting Christmas by saying he is not afraid of some “fake disease.” “I won’t let some left-wing conspiracy to destroy sm...
Woman dead for three days told she’s “probably just stressed” by doctor
BARRIE, ON – Olivia Short, a local woman diagnosed as “probably just stressed” by her doctor, has turned out to have already been dead for three days. Olivia “Liv” Short, 29, had already been deceased...
Jason Kenney’s pride now leading cause of death in Alberta
EDMONTON – A new study from the Office of Statistics and Information indicates Premier Jason Kenney’s excessive pride is the new leading cause of death in Alberta. “Hubris is a pre-existing con...
Edmonton coyotes excited to finally be included in games of fetch
EDMONTON – Coyotes are excited by a new initiative from the Edmonton Urban Coyote project that involves throwing tennis balls and sticks. The goal of the initiative is to scare coyotes in order ...
