VANCOUVER — Across the city Spring has begun unfolding in all the predictable ways; flowers blooming, jackets shrinking, and The Sun, that deadbeat asshole, sneaking back into our lives expecting all ...
5 return-to-office tips for not being recognized as a husk of your former self
Uh oh! Your co-workers haven’t seen you in person since March of 2020, back when you were a hopeful idealist with a pep in her step and a contagious joie de vivre. Now you’re an empty shell only barel...
BC gov’t vows old-growth forests will be protected, varnished
VICTORIA – In honour of Earth Day, the BC Government has reaffirmed its commitment to protect the province’s remaining ancient, old-growth forests using a number of varnishes, stains, or sealant...
5 small joys you can cut out of your life and still not be able to afford a home
With home prices doubling in the last 5 years and increasingly divorced from the incomes of Canadians such that the real estate market has created a completely parallel universe devoid of anything res...
Efficient new edition of TurboTax just asks how much fraud you’re comfortable with
OTTAWA – Sources have learned that this year’s standard edition of TurboTax skips right to the point by asking “So, how much you wanna try pulling over on the feds?” when the program is launched. “I w...
Ontario Conservatives promise universal handguns if re-elected
QUEEN’S PARK – The PC party of Ontario has just announced their bold pledge to provide handguns to all Ontarians if re-elected in June. “My priority is always the safety and welfare of the peopl...
Real Life Paddington? Boyfriend wearing his little coat
SURREY, BC- In an exciting turn of events, 29-year-old boyfriend Ben McDonald revealed himself to be a real life Paddington bear today when he bundled himself up in his little coat and boots and heade...
Netflix cracks down on password sharing to help users let go of their ex
LOS GATOS, CALIFORNIA – The online streaming service Netflix has announced their intention to discourage different people from making use of the same account in an effort to get users to finally...
Beer that tastes like sweat wins brewing award
FREDERICTON — New Brunswick microbrewery Weasel Belly Ales has won the 2022 Liquid Innovation Prize for developing a new style of beer that experts say tastes like sweat. The winning brew, a pale lage...
Mom calls in excited panic just to say current Jeopardy champion is Canadian
HALIFAX, NS – Earlier this week, Eleanor Weaver, 23, got a panicked call from her mother around 10pm just to say that the current Jeopardy champion, Mattea Roach, is Canadian. “I thought somethi...
