Mad pseudoscientist unable to replicate previous results at bringing monstrosity to life

CASTLE LAZARUS – Doctor Viktor Lazarus a “self-taught” student of the biological and galvanic sciences has purportedly been working for weeks to repeat his past success at creating ungodly …

Metastatic cancer worried people will start associating it with Facebook

MENLO PARK, CA – Following the announcement that the corporation which owns Facebook, Instagram and Oculus has changed its name to Meta Platforms, Inc., the process which results in cancero…

Misinformed horse uses COVID-19 vaccine to treat worm infestation

LOUISVILLE, KY- Despite pleas to reconsider his stance by his family and veterinarian, local farm horse Mr. Clip Clop has thrown away his prescribed ivermectin and is using doses of COVID-19 vacc…

Bullied kid in haunted house relieved to see companions picked off one by one

HUNTSVILLE, ON ― Local 16-year-old Simon Norris was reportedly delighted to discover that a supernatural creature was gradually capturing the classmates with whom he was exploring the old Douglas…

Education Minister clarifies he would have normally fired 50,000 education workers for non-COVID reasons

TORONTO – Ontario’s Education Minister Stephen Lecce explained that he would have made Ontario’s education system “more efficient” by cutting 50,000 education jobs, but enforcing a vaccine …

“I’m not going to get vaccinated just to comply with arbitrary public safety rules,” says cop who makes living writing speeding tickets

TORONTO – As the deadline looms for Toronto police to get vaccinated or be put on unpaid leave, many officers who spend their days writing speeding tickets are refusing to get “an unn…

Rogers hits customers with “entertainment tax” after wild week of corporate shenanigans

TORONTO — Yesterday Rogers hit customers with an Entertainment Tax after a wild week of very public corporate shenanigans drew comparisons to prestige dramas Succession and Game of Thrones.…

Province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for Trans Mountain pipeline votes against equalization

EDMONTON – The province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for the Trans Mountain pipeline has voted 62% in favour of refusing to understand how the federal equalization program works. The ‘Yes’ …

Cabinet Shakeup: Meet the new ministers whose names you won’t encounter again until they screw up so badly it makes the news

OTTAWA – It’s a busy period for Canadians. Halloween is approaching, Christmas is less than two months away, and Canada is still in the grips of a deadly pandemic that’s crippling our econo…

6 Halloween couples costumes that say “We’re only dating for the couples costumes”

It’s been a rocky pandemic, and breaking up with your significant other who you’ve fallen out of love with, and moving out just seems like a big hassle this year. Not to mention, couples costumes…