Carney invites Mohammed bin Salman to G7, warns Air Canada will make him check bone saw

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has invited Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to this summer’s G7 summit in Kananaskis, Alberta, but warned the autocratic monarch tha…

Inventive refs develop new way to help Panthers win beyond the favourable whistle

Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in…

Carney fights off harsh U.S. authoritarianism with slightly gentler Canadian authoritarianism

OTTAWA — As Americans face the horror of U.S. troops being deployed to American cities on the orders of President Donald Trump to break up peaceful protests, the Canadian government under Prime M…

Pickleball popularity slips with gay seniors “The whole name is misleading”

PORT COLBORNE, ON — Large numbers of gay seniors initially drawn to popular racquet sport pickleball are abandoning the game after realizing it has nothing to do with male genitalia. “We may be g…

Trump reminds Americans he only promised not to start foreign wars

LOS ANGELES – As National Guard troops took to the streets ready to open fire on U.S. citizens in the name of “Making America Great Again”, President Trump reminded all American…

Carney limits G7 guests to one assassination each

OTTAWA – After inviting Indian PM Narendra Modi Prime Minister Mark Carney issued strict rules for the upcoming G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta, limiting assassinations to one per guest n…

Trump, Musk publicly feud over whose father loved them less

WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump has spent the day publicly feuding with former billionaire ally Elon Musk, as the two each insisted that they were shown less affection and atten…

Oil Pipelines getting sick of Danielle Smith talking about them all the time

“We get it lady. Find someone else to talk about 24 hours a day.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the “best first ministers meeting in 1…

Nova Scotia Power encourages customers to leak own personal information during service outages

HALIFAX – After the private information of more than 280,000 Nova Scotia Power customers was stolen and published online, Nova Scotia Power and parent company Emera are reminding customers …

Premiers united in belief that the best way to stand up to Trump is doing what they’ve always wanted to do anyways

SASKATOON – As they gather with PM Mark Carney for the meeting of First Ministers, the Premiers of Canada’s provinces are steadfast in their belief that the best way to oppose Donald …