OTTAWA – Health Canada announced this morning that they have come up with their official vaccine pecking order and, as expected, those dudes who insist on wearing shorts all winter will get…
Tag: Featured Post
“This ain’t my first rodeo,” brags man who has never even met a cow
TORONTO – After listening to a coworker explain a simple solution to a tax problem yesterday, accountant Jim Barnes was overheard confidently shooting down the advice and declaring “Listen, this …
As pandemic deaths skyrocket in Whoville, The Grinch is dubbed self-isolation hero
WHOVILLE – Last Tuesday, many who have spoken out on quarantining during the COVID-19 pandemic have taken to Twitter to praise The Grinch for his preparedness amid the news that Whovillians…
Erin O’Toole accomplishes seemingly impossible task of being less likeable than Andrew Scheer
OTTAWA – In the wake of defending Canada’s barbaric residential school system while giving a talk to Ryerson Conservative students about how best to own the libs, Conservative leader …
Woman who forgot to do laundry reluctantly puts on clown suit
TORONTO – Ashley Greenfield woke up this morning to discover that after weeks of putting off doing laundry and hand-washing her underwear in the sink, she was officially out of wearable clothing.…
Erin O’Toole claims residential schools were just “Hogwarts for Indigenous kids”
OTTAWA – During a Zoom call with students from Ryerson University, Conservative Party of Canada leader Erin O’Toole informed young conservatives that they should stop thinking of Canada’s r…
“Shop local” posts man who bought book from Indigo instead of Amazon
REGINA – Local man Aidan Waite is encouraging all his friends and family to stay away from Amazon when doing their holiday shopping, and instead support local mom and pop shops like Indigo …
Attorney General Barr resigns after finding no evidence of further dictatorial opportunities
WASHINGTON— Following a year and a half of helping to facilitate the Trump Administration’s descent into authoritarianism, US Attorney General William Barr handed in his resignation yesterday aft…
“Just figure it out!” screams Jeff Bezos at underlings after hearing of man who provides overnight shipping worldwide on Christmas Eve
SEATTLE – On the heels of their most successful year yet, Amazon HQ was thrown into chaos this afternoon after CEO Jeff Bezos caught wind of a competitor potentially edging in on holiday profits.…
Report: Best way to discover embarrassing errors in company email is to click “send”
VANCOUVER – According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of British Columbia, the most effective way for employees to uncover horrifying typos in important company-wide ema…
