VANCOUVER – Local blogger, Elspeth Sosa, who has been vegan for 9 years, insists she doesn’t want to be that annoying vegan stereotype, so she just eats meat along with dairy products and e…
Tag: Featured Post
Trudeau: Systemic racism is a huge problem, someone should really do something about that
OTTAWA – Responding to the news from the U.S. that police officer Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all charges for the murder of George Floyd, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau believes this e…
‘Over Asking’ portion of Sold Over Asking yard sign real fucking unnecessary
TORONTO – As housing prices continue to skyrocket, many are pointing out that Realtors’ habit of putting the ‘Over Asking’ next to their Sold sign is probably not needed a…
“I’m just so proud to be Canadian,” says celebrity who lives in Bermuda for tax purposes
LOS ANGELES, CA – A prominent celebrity has told the Beaverton that they “couldn’t be prouder to be Canadian,” while requesting anonymity so as to avoid an investigation by the CRA. The celebrity…
“It’s not a carbon tax,” says O’Toole about his carbon tax
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole pushed back against critics who have accused his plan for a carbon tax of being a carbon tax. “Our carbon levy is in no way a tax,” said O’Tool…
Ford confident he can defeat public health crisis with civil rights crisis
TORONTO – Following a massive increase in COVID cases in Ontario, Premier Doug Ford has decided that the best way to defeat this unprecedented threat to human life is with an equally unprec…
Ford refuses Red Cross aid after realizing red is a Liberal colour
TORONTO — The Federal Government offered to deploy the Canadian Red Cross today in order to provide Ontario with support for its vaccination clinics and healthcare system in the midst of a debili…
Ontario bans non-essential jacking off
TORONTO – At a press conference this morning Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced that the province would be banning all non-essential jacking off to combat the rise of COVID-19. “List…
Winter leg hair declared old growth by UNESCO
VICTORIA – After months of deliberation and strenuous debate, an expanse of winter leg hair located on the lower half of Hannah Angelopoulos has now been classified as old growth by the Uni…
Ford: we thought having a confusing mess of vaccine registration sites would give people in lockdown something to do
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford defended the shambolic vaccine registration process this morning, noting it gives Ontarians stuck at home something to spend all their time doing. “All pandemic …
