Man’s stroke ignored at zombie walk
TORONTO – Tragedy struck at Trinity Bellwoods Park yesterday when a man’s stroke symptoms were mistaken for a convincing zombie performance at this year’s Zombie Walk in the Park. Derek Riz…
Local man concerned that if he starts kissing horses, then where will it stop?
BIGGAR, SK – After an unexpectedly intimate moment with his prize-winning mare, Danziger, local businessman and horse breeder Wayland Price said that he feels, “uncomfortable.” “Well, Danzi…
Jen’s dating life totally inconsiderate, says ‘completely platonic’ roommate Darren
TORONTO – Darren Santos, year-long roommate to Jennifer Richards, has finally had enough of the co-ed’s active dating life. “She’s a great girl, but it’s getting to be a bit much,” said San…
Four bankers killed after giant novelty cheque bounces
MISSISSAUGA, ON – After receiving a deposit from a charity golf tournament, four Bank of Montreal employees found out the endorser had insufficient funds the hard way. Two tellers, a mortgage con…
Prince Harry outraged by nude pics of Kate, barely able to masturbate to them
LONDON – Sources within Buckingham Palace have revealed that Prince Harry, currently third in line to the throne, has been so appalled and devastated by the recently leaked pictures of sist…
Time traveller mocked by future people for vestigial organs
WINDSOR, ON – 72-year-old time traveller Jack Prentice, recently returned from a voyage into the future whose goal was to discover the mystery of human development, called a press conferenc…
