Margaret Atwood jumps eighteen buses on motorcycle for youth literacy campaign
TORONTO – Two-time Governor General’s Award winner Margaret Atwood tempted fate yesterday with a death-defying stunt jump over more than a dozen regulation sized school buses in order to promote …
Quebec tragedy blemishes Transport Canada’s stellar 3-day train derailment-free record
OTTAWA – Transport Canada officials were disappointed that their 72-hour train wreck-free record has been shattered after a catastrophic derailment in Quebec. “I know this looks bad,” stated Mini…
Retired Vic Toews: ‘If my Swiss Chalet’s not here in 30 minutes, you stand with child pornographers’
STEINBACH, MB – Upon announcing his retirement from the House of Commons, Vic Toews has instituted a “tough on crime” crackdown of his day-to-day affairs, beginning with his local Swiss Cha…
‘Cash for gold’ commercials attract first customer
TORONTO – Local jewellery buyer Russell Oliver announced today that the TV advertisements for his gold-buying business, which have been running nonstop for the past decade, have successfull…
Venezuela harbours Snowden, asks if US knows it’s loco
CARACAS – The Venezuelan government welcomed the arrival and asylum of NSA-leaker Edward Snowden today, releasing a statement querying whether Americans are or are not aware that Venezuela …
England celebrates Murray victory by pretending he isn’t Scottish
ENGLAND – After almost eighty years without a victory at Wimbledon, England has spent the last two days celebrating Andy Murray’s win by refusing to refer to him as anything other than “Bri…
New study finds sunscreen makes you look stupid
VICTORIA – According to a groundbreaking new study from the University of Victoria, applying sunscreen drastically increases your chances of looking stupid. Researchers analyzed data from o…
