NEW YORK – In a move that supporters insist shows he’s not the racist critics accuse him of being, U.S. President–elect Donald Trump has offered the nation’s Secretary of Housing and Urban Development...
Scientists: Everything in nature smells and feels weird and you should just stay inside
OTTAWA—Top scientists at the Wildlife & Nature Research Institute are now advising members of the public that despite previous statements made by experts extolling the wonder and majesty of the ou...
“You’d never betray me,” whispers Brad Wall in dimly lit office to pile of coal
REGINA – With all other provincial governments having agreed to adopt carbon pricing by 2018 in line with the Trudeau government’s climate strategy, Premier Brad Wall spent this morning planning...
Silicon valley invents pregnancy test for men
Have you ever felt frustrated by the lack of pre-natal products available for men? Have you ever wondered why women get to have all the fun of finding out if they are going to be parent? No? We...
Chris Alexander attacks Rachel Notley for role in Clinton Foundation, private server, 2002 vote in favour of Iraq War
EDMONTON – Speaking at a rally in Edmonton Sunday afternoon, former federal Immigration Minister and current Conservative party leadership hopeful Chris Alexander took aim at what he described as Albe...
BREAKING: Standing Rock protesters win anti-pipeline victory, ruining 2016’s perfect misery streak
STANDING ROCK, ND — The Army Corp of Engineers has announced they will deny permits for the Dakota Access Pipeline, representing a victory for the Standing Rock protesters and a lone bright spot...
Cellino & Barnes hired to represent Diamond & Diamond for false advertising claims
TORONTO – Diamond and Diamond has announced that it has retained Buffalo, New York personal injury lawyers Cellino and Barnes to handle an ongoing dispute with the Law Society of Upper Canada. “...
Liberal man pretends to disagree with Donald Trump’s criticisms of SNL
AUSTIN – Following his fervent opposition to everything President-elect Donald Trump stands for, local liberal Witmer Monroe is facing his greatest challenge: having to defend NBC’s sketch comed...
America is great again, so local man going to shit wherever he feels like it
OHIO – With thousands of Americans using the election of Donald Trump to justify the most atrocious kinds of behaviour, local man Derek Jensen says he now feels fully justified in defecating whe...
Catholics beaten by police during protest over Vatican Access pipeline
VATICAN CITY – After months of mounting tensions over the proposed Vatican Access pipeline, police have begun openly attacking the Catholic protesters, using vicious dogs, rubber bullets, and ho...
