HALIFAX – In his first week as the newest member of the Halifax Regional Police’s mounted unit, Constable Grayson DeLuca demonstrated all the passion for community service that has defined his 7 years...
Utensil formerly known as “The Good Knife” stripped of title
RED DEER – Stunning observers in the Stephenson kitchen, The Good Knife has unceremoniously been forced to relinquish its title. The shocking loss of status occurred yesterday before dinner, whe...
Professor’s clever trick question on exam prevents 14 students from attending law school
MONTREAL – Speaking to his stunned class two weeks after their midterm, Dr. Emile Hastings revealed that one of the seemingly simple questions on the test was actually a fun little trick, thus r...
Electoral Reform Primer: P3- that dope ass one Stephane Dion likes
Overview: You remember that adorable nerd, Stephane Dion? A few years ago, he came up with a better electoral reform system than anybody else ever has. But Canada has not adopted this system, because ...
Trump going to wait for KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia of election tampering
NEW YORK – Following a CIA report that alleges Russian tampered with the 2016 American election, President-elect Donald Trump plans to wait for the KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia of get...
Stan Lee set to cameo in future Marvel porn parodies
LOS ANGELES – Vivid Entertainment has announced that famed comic book creator, Stan Lee, has been confirmed to appear in cameo roles for forthcoming porn parodies of Marvel superhero films. “We couldn...
Meet the 12 clones that fill in for Yukon MP Larry Bagnell
WHITEHORSE – Being an MP from a distant riding can be an exhausting exercise, but Larry Bagnell has help from 12 identical copies thanks to new advancements in Parliamentarian genetics. The Bagn...
$2 pizza served at transit station probably fine
TORONTO – Commuters travelling through the Bloor-Yonge subway station in Toronto have been given the opportunity to buy pizza for $2 a slice from a folding table, and on the whole decided that t...
Man’s publicly displayed copy of ‘Infinite Jest’ actually just full of peanut shells
TORONTO — This weekend it was revealed that Brody Hall’s proudly displayed copy of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest is merely a receptacle for crushed peanut shells. For many years, the dyst...
Facebook year in review video just pictures of things on fire
EDMONTON – Local woman Carly Everton has advised that the year in review photo album automatically generated by Facebook to make people feel nostalgic is showing her nothing but photos of things...
