This is really inspiring! Even though she can barely afford rent, local woman Ella Levenstein is somehow considered part of a cultural elite that is stealing the country from everyday folks, who coinc...
Trudeau hopes to build relationship with Trump over shared daddy issues
OTTAWA – On his way to Washington for their first meeting, Prime Minister Trudeau is keen on building a strong and stable connection with President Donald Trump by focusing on their deep seeded and co...
Liam Neeson kills 8 in method acting rampage
VANCOUVER – 8 people lost their lives when esteemed actor Liam Neeson went on a method acting rampage while filming Taken 4. The incident began shortly after production wrapped for the day on Th...
Bombardier seeks injunction to keep on never delivering trains
TORONTO — Bombardier Inc. went to court on Friday to preserve its right to continue failing to deliver trains to Metrolinx. “If the Government of Ontario wanted us to stop trying to deliver trai...
6 things only kids raised by helicopter parents understand
You’re probably used to it all by now, but your friends just don’t understand what it’s like having to deal with overbearing parents who are large, metallic rotary-winged aircraft. Sometimes, it feels...
Experts: next Tory leader will be candidate whose tie has largest Windsor
OTTAWA – With the Conservative leadership race heating up, experts say the next party leader will be whoever has the biggest, most ostentatious tie knot around their neck. “Tory voters need to k...
Local woman worried she says ‘y’all’ too much
MONTREAL — Local woman Molly Blackmore recently expressed concern to friends and family about her overuse of the contraction “y’all.” “I just find it handy!” explained Molly. “It’s casual and kind of ...
Kevin O’Leary wears disguise to volunteer at soup kitchen without attracting attention
RED DEER – Sources have confirmed that businessman and Conservative leadership frontrunner Kevin O’Leary donned a disguise so that he could serve underprivileged people without calling attention...
Local Dad trying to explain tribal tattoo to 4 year old son
Langley, B.C. – After years of long sleeve shirts Connor Smith’s 4 year old son, Jonathan, has finally inquired about the origin and motivation of his father’s full sleeve tribal tattoo. T...
Betsy DeVos buys public school to practice on
WASHINGTON, DC – Recently-confirmed Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has purchased a small public school to practice on before she assumes the responsibilities for her new job. “I’m s...
