Genetic Lottery Commercial

  What would you do if you won the genetic lotto? The Beaverton airs tonight at 10:30pm (et) on The Comedy Network, immediately followed by our writers panel Facebook Livestream.…

Struggling Toronto Symphony Orchestra rebrands as buddy-cop comedy

TORONTO – Following yet another quarter of disappointing returns, the Toronto Symphony Orchestra has decided to rebrand itself into a buddy-cop comedy. “Let’s be frank, most people don’t kn…

Conservative Party Leadership Profile: Michael Chong

Name: Michael Chong Background: As Minister of Sport in the Harper Cabinet, he was the backup goaltender for Team Canada’s hockey team during the 2006 Turin Olympics and had a 3.25 GAA. Chong wak…

TFC’s Giovinco tragically unable to stop scoring goals in everyday life

TORONTO – Despite not having played a game in several days, Toronto FC forward Sebastian Giovinco’s body has not allowed him to stop scoring goals, netting thirty-two in total across venues…

7 YTV PJ’s that are still alive

Remember when YTV was full of the most hilarious, entertaining and chewing gum based personalities? They were called PJs and we loved them all. Sadly, most are now long dead but let’s check in an…

TTC to implement “surge pricing”

TORONTO – Faced with a multi-million dollar budget shortfall and decreasing ridership, the Toronto Transit Commission is looking to raise funds and control congestion by instituting “…

Sabra Listeria recalled for possible hummus contamination

OTTAWA – Sabra Dipping Company is voluntarily recalling several brands of its Listeria products for possibly coming into contact with hummus. The flavours that are being recalled in Canada …

Canada to sign Great Ape Research Ban as soon as we finish the Chimpan-Zed

OTTAWA – Facing pressure from animal rights groups, science Minister Kirsty Duncan announced today that Canada will sign an international ban against scientific experimentation on great ape…

Update: Childhood dog still dead

YOUR HOMETOWN — An urgent press bulletin has confirmed that your beloved childhood pet, the one whose tragic passing you thought you would never recover from, is still “deceased, departed, …

Facebook promises to ban fake news now that real news is absurd enough

Palo Alto – In a conference call with reporters, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg pledged to crack down on the fake news sites that spread political lies during the 2016 U.S. election, now that…