Male stripper’s navy uniform well below Canadian Armed Forces dress standard

MONTREAL – A male stripper posing as a member of the navy was heckled by a bachelorette party for improperly wearing his uniform before it was suggestively removed to the tune of the Villag…

Report: Millennials average net worth only 8000 likes

CALGARY, AB – Surveying the livelihood and stability of adults born between 1982 and 2004, a report released today has concluded that the net worth of the average millennial is only 8000 li…

Government: Impoverished First Nations children clearly haven’t seen Canada’s #1 rating in quality of life by US News

OTTAWA – The federal government has responded to a study indicating half of all First Nations on-reserve children live in poverty by pointing out that they just haven’t seen how Canada is r…

Shoppers Drug Mart launches PC Opium Points program

BRAMPTON, ON — Shoppers Drug Marts across the country have begun rolling out promotions for their new “PC Opium Points Points” program — a groundbreaking initiative that offers redeemable points …

Premiers’ meeting to be held in steam room now that there are no more female premiers

SASKATOON – The annual meeting of Canada’s provincial and territorial premiers, The Council of the Federation, starts today and as it’s the first time since 2008 there are no women attendin…

ESPN returns to ignoring Canada’s existence

BRISTOL, CT – After the departure of NBA Champion and former Toronto Raptor Kawhi Leonard to the LA Clippers, ESPN has resumed the assumption that Canada is a mythical, non-existent land wh…

Couple with great sex life looking to spice things up in the kitchen

KELOWNA, BC – After two years of consistently mind blowing sex, Greg Hayes and Lauren Morgan Clark are ready to take their relationship to the next level and start cooking together. “Greg a…

Nation’s loud, uninformed uncles line up to replace Don Cherry

TORONTO — With Rogers Sportsnet announcing that it has terminated Don Cherry’s Hockey Night In Canada contract following his recent on-air comments about immigrants, interest in the job has…

Woman who escaped religious oppressors trapped in photo with secular oppressor

PARIS – Nobel Peace prize winner and advocate for access to education for women, Malala Yousafzai, escaped the clutches of religious oppressors in her native Pakistan seven years ago only t…

Canadian airlines vow to fight court ruling that passengers aren’t luggage

OTTAWA – Canadian airlines are taking the federal government to the highest court in the land in hopes of quashing the recently upheld air passenger bill of rights that punishes airlines fi…