TORONTO, ON – There’s something special to look forward to in 2024. With blockbuster movie running times increasing every year, Avatar 3 has an announced run time of 2 years. This takes the end ...
Unworn shirt just happy to be part of vacation wardrobe
WINNIPEG — After failing to make it out of the hotel room on a recent trip to Honolulu, insurance broker Dave Watt’s paisley button up shirt says it’s just happy to be part of the vacation wardrobe. “...
OPINION: I know nothing on your subject, and I’ll never concede defeat. Debate me!
Hey there, Smartypants Expert with your fancy degrees and practical experience and whatnot. I’ve built an online following by espousing the opposite of what you and the overwhelming majority of scient...
Blushing God approaches Sue Johanson with sex question no one else has been able to answer
HEAVEN – Hesitant and embarrassed, God, the almighty Lord, creator of Earth and the heavens, approached recently deceased sex educator Sue Johanson with a question. “Hey, I’m, ah…I w...
Winners and Losers of the 2023 NHL draft based on the 5 minutes of research I did right before it started
Another first round of the NHL draft has come and gone. And if there is one thing we know about selecting a bunch of 18 year olds to play professional hockey for our teams 1-4 years down the line, it&...
PPC struggle to adapt to Poilievre’s popularity with their base: men who keep a list of every woman that’s rejected them
OTTAWA – The People’s Party Of Canada are struggling to adapt to Pierre Poilievre’s ascension to Conservative Party leader given his popularity with the men who make up the partyR...
Five celebrities you’d never guess are gay because they already came out
Hollywood, CA – Despite all the progress we’ve made toward creating a more inclusive society for people in the LGBTQ+ community, it’s still super fun to speculate about a stranger’s sexuality. It’s ev...
Mayor-elect Olivia Chow currently riding bike to go do donuts on Doug Ford’s lawn
TORONTO – Following her victory in last night’s citywide election, mayor elect Olivia Chow has announced that her first order of business will be to ride her bike directly to Etobicoke and...
NHL honours its best by forcing them to listen to D-List celebrities mispronounce their names
NASHVILLE – After another successful season, the NHL will be celebrating its best players in traditional fashion, by making them sit in a crowded auditorium while a collection of obscure America...
Report: Boyfriend wants to try something called “platypus style”
CALGARY – Local sources state that Martin Walsh is hoping to add some excitement to his relationship by convincing his girlfriend to do it platypus style. “We’ve been in a bit of a rut lately,” Walsh ...
