LAS VEGAS – After quietly retiring five years ago, Doug “Quick-Fingers” Malone, a once-renowned thief known for being a part of numerous infamous robberies and heists, is beginning to worry that …
Tag: Featured Post
Leaked documents reveal Trump met with West Coast wildfire in early July
Washington, D.C. – Recently leaked documents from the White House reveal President Donald Trump had a secret meeting with the deadly wildfires currently burning across the west coast of Nor…
Trump endorsed by Pseudoscientific American Magazine
DALLAS – Following the news that Scientific American has endorsed a presidential candidate for the first time in its 175 year history, its rival publication, Pseudoscientific American, the …
J.K. Rowling’s new book imagines a fantasy world where she is right about trans people
EDINBURGH, UK – Author J.K. Rowling, who has previously dreamt up a world of wizards and magic in the Harry Potter series, has stretched the bounds of imagination in order to conjure up a n…
Vancouver experiencing severe Mothman infestation
VANCOUVER – The Lower Mainland is witnessing an explosive increase in the area’s Mothman population, with experts calling it the largest cryptid infestation they’ve seen in deca…
Cop wears internal thoughts on the outside
TORONTO – A Toronto police officer seen with a patch featuring the symbol of Marvel’s The Punisher on his uniform while at a traffic safety news conference was only wearing his intern…
Kielburgers inspire children nationwide to run away from their problems
TORONTO – Amidst government scandal, We Charity has announced it is winding down its operations in Canada in order to inspire countless Canadian children to run away from their problems too…
Erin O’Toole can’t understand why Lügenpresse are criticizing his Canada First policy
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole is said to be flummoxed as to why the Lying Press is criticizing him for announcing a Canada First approach to the economy and global trade. …
Astrophysicists prove Big Bang was result of gender reveal party gone wrong
STANFORD – The physics world has been turned on its head today by incontrovertible proof that our material universe began when a gender reveal party 15 billion years ago resulted in an expl…
Despondent CNE fans lower sticks of deep-fried butter to half-mast
TORONTO – Yesterday, thousands of distraught fans of the Canadian National Exhibition took a moment out of their day to lower their sticks of deep-fried butter out of respect for the cancel…
