The Beaverton

PAN AM UPDATE: CANADA WINS GREEN IN WATER HOCKEY

TORONTO – After a breathtaking match against Suriname, the Canadian water hockey team has surged to victory, claiming Canada’s first green ribbon in the 2015 Pan Am Games. “We went out ther…

Share

BC wildfires destroy world’s oldest grow-op

PORT ALBERNI – In a development that has many British Columbia residents shocked, a 82-year-old marijuana grow-operation, known affectionately to residents as ‘Old Wheezy’, was destroyed after fi…

Share

Girlfriend scientists find 99% of food too spicy

GUELPH, ON – Research done by girlfriend scientists at the University of Guelph has uncovered that nearly all food is far too hot and/or spicy. The study involved the tasting of hundreds of…

Share