CALGARY – A local man was angered and saddened to hear that another local business he never once set foot in was closing its doors forever. A disappointed Aaron Morales says that Martha’s Grocer...
John Tory raises transit funds by putting City Hall futon on Craigslist
TORONTO – After Premier Wynne rejected his plan to pay for transit infrastructure with road tolls, Mayor John Tory has been forced to raise funds by putting the City Hall futon on Craigslist. “F...
Chris Alexander denies claim that he is Chucky doll
Our conservative party funded ads continue today with leadership candidate Chris Alexander....
Local man working ass off to shoehorn one of his 3 memes into internet argument
BRANDON, MB – An online argument about the existence of the gender wage gap reportedly has one of the participants, avid twitter user Adam Campbell, working his absolute ass off to incorporate o...
Atellia, Goddess of Light writes herself into fan fiction about average high school
CELESTIAL KINGDOM – In a move that had other omnipotent deities rolling their eyes, Atellia Goddess of Light has written herself into a fan fiction about a mid-sized suburban high school. In her...
Picture of chicken and waffles gets more likes than all of woman’s life accomplishments combined
TORONTO – Unexpectedly captured reacting to an oversized order of chicken and waffles, local woman Christine Newman was shocked to see the photo receive more likes on social media than everythin...
Archeologists discover mass Polkaroo burial site
TORONTO – Two decades after TVO’s award-winning children’s program The Polka Dot Door ended, archaeologists from the University of Toronto have finally discovered where all the polkaroos are bur...
Five of Justin Trudeau’s broken promises that nobody is talking about
Electoral reform is just the tip of the iceberg…...
Productivity Goals! This man multitasks by drinking at work!
Between work, home, exercise, and family, sometimes it seems like there’s just not enough hours in the day! But one man is pushing his productivity to the max with an exciting new lifehack – sta...
Doctors: cutting out caffeine offers great benefits to superiority complex
A recent meta-analysis of studies related to caffeine has led doctors to conclude that giving up caffeine can provide a healthy boost to a weakening superiority complex. However, the correlation was o...
