5 war atrocities only 90s kids remember

  In this Beavfeed segment Emma and Miguel take 90s kids back to their glory days, when neon colours dominated the playgrounds, and ethnic cleansing was nearly as popular as the Spice Girls.…

Ottawa installs warning signs for drivers in middle of bike paths

OTTAWA – In an effort to make motorists more aware of new segregated bike lanes, the City of Ottawa has installed large warning signs in the middle of bike lanes at each intersection and at…

Canadian Air Force facing setbacks after several more CF-18s fucked by giant metal birds

OTTAWA – The aging Canadian Air Force suffered yet another setback today, after giant metal birds had sex with several more of its planes. “Earlier this morning, giant metal birds ploughed …

With election over, Gary Johnson planning much needed family-vacation to Aleppo

TAOS, NM — In the wake of a long and difficult US presidential election, the failed Libertarian Party nominee, Gary Johnson, has announced that he finally has “a pretty good idea of what an…

Fading stock photo star recalls when it was her face on the bus ad

FREDERICTON – With her stock model glory all but forgotten, Mary Ellesmere reflected on the height of her career when she was featured on a local bus advertisement. From humble beginnings, …

Kellie Leitch initiates diplomatic relations with Trump by borrowing dog whistle

OTTAWA — In a symbolic gesture aimed at demonstrating the “shared values” she hopes will serve as the foundation of strong diplomatic relations between her party and U.S. President-elect Do…

Whitewashed.ca Commercial

  Ever worry an ancestry.com search will reveal the horrific truth about your ancestors’ misdeeds? Well we have the perfect website for you.…

Cohen family unsure what song to play at Leonard Cohen’s funeral

LOS ANGELES – Sources inside the Cohen family say they are having difficulty picking a song to play for the beloved singer-songwriter’s upcoming funeral. According to senior Cohen family me…

Bicycle cops fail to apprehend own dignity

MONTREAL – Calling it “the one that got away,” a group of four police officers failed to apprehend their own dignity while riding the streets of Montreal on bicycles. The incident occurred …

2023 poppies “extra stabby” to help Canadians appreciate soldiers’ sacrifice

OTTAWA – Representatives from the Royal Canadian Legion have confirmed that their 2023 poppies were designed for optimal pointiness, size, and “gouge-ability”, to help Canadians better reme…