London, ON – Local woman Mona Tucker is still reeling from the discovery of a long-lost family photo album from 1973 that revealed that her mother, Amy, was a fun, popular recreational coke user...
Get Hype: The upcoming ‘Fast and the Furious’ prequel is all horses
Get hype, internet, there’s a new installment in the Fast and the Furious franchise, and this time, it’s nothing but horse, baby! Taking place in the same universe several years before the other films...
Honest Ed’s demolition crew rescues 3rd group of lost shoppers this week
TORONTO – crews tasked with clearing the enormous warehouse discount store Honest Ed’s have encountered its third contingent of roaming, disoriented shoppers since Wednesday. Foreman Jim Peters ...
Local father really psyched about this year’s perennials
RICHMOND HILL, ON – Proud father of two and recreational horticulturist Jack Tierney says he is “beyond excited” for his perennials, set to bloom in late May. “The real showstopper is seeing the...
Sign of progress? Millennials, Boomers agree that Gen X is the worst
TORONTO – Finally some common ground! After years of arguing about who really screwed things up, baby boomers and millennials were able to come together in order to proclaim that Gen Xers can ea...
Canadian journalists’ “Appropriation Prize” aims to represent marginalized cultures the way white people imagine them
TORONTO — Several high-profile Canadian journalists pledged money on Thursday night toward an “Appropriation Prize” that would reward white, middle-class journalists for writing about marginaliz...
Sens shipping in fans from other teams to fill vacant seats
OTTAWA – After the team’s poorly attended playoffs series against the New York Rangers, the GM of the Ottawa Senators will be bussing in fans of other teams to fill seats in the Canadian Tire C...
How to Get Invited to a Cottage
Only one week left to get that invite!...
University revolutionary pretty sure intelligentsia won’t get purged this time
TORONTO – Two years into his undergraduate degree, local student Sam Taylor is convinced he won’t be one of the ones put up against the wall when the revolution comes. “No, I’m on the People’s s...
Tim Hortons celebrates Canada 150 by replacing Double-Double with Sesquicentuple-Sesquicentuple
OAKVILLE, ON – In celebration of Canada’s 150th birthday, Canada’s favourite coffee chain will replace their world famous Double-Doubles with Sesquicentuple-Sesquicentuples for a limited time st...
