New winter boots promise to make your feet either extremely hot or a little wet

TORONTO – Boot manufacturers throughout Canada have finally given up and announced that all boots bought for winter 2019 will either make your feet uncomfortably hot or a little wet. “Have …

Ontario fixes hallway medicine by removing walls creating open concept medicine

TORONTO – Ontario’s government has announced it has finally eliminated hallway medicine by removing any partitions or internal walls within hospitals. “Patients will no longer have to wait …

Doug Ford won’t stop taping ‘Mayor Of Toronto’ sign on office door

TORONTO – Despite being removed every night by janitorial staff, Doug Ford continues to tape a handwritten sign on his office door that reads ‘Mayor of Toronto.’ “At first I thought it was …

Parents update password to latest dog

VANCOUVER, BC – In a surprising move, Kevin and Sue Dikkers have updated their computer passwords to the latest family dog. ‘Frances!1’ replaces ‘Benji!1’, a long running password held in h…

Government encouraging healthy media consumption with Canadian Content Pyramid

IN PHOTOS: The Ministry of Heritage has released a new Canadian Content Pyramid in hopes it will encourage citizens to consume a healthy, balanced Canadian media diet. Image via Pixabay / Deposit…

Classic Simpsons character George H. W. Bush dead at 94

HOUSTON, TX – George H. W. Bush, the beloved character from the classic, critically lauded early era of the long-running Fox animated program The Simpsons has died peacefully in his sleep. …

Margaret Atwood confirms Handmaid’s Tale sequel is just original manuscript but with more exclamation points

TORONTO – Margaret Atwood delighted fans of The Handmaid’s Tale this week with the announcement that she is currently penning a sequel. However, the prolific Canadian author quickly clarifi…

Man refuses to accept anesthesia in case ‘lady surgeon’ needs advice

TORONTO, ON – Insisting that that he would like to be available to offer his opinion, should his ‘lady surgeon’ require any helpful tips or advice on how to perform the procedure, local man…

Nation’s Netflix subscription now costs a dollar more than previous rate of “I have no idea what I’m paying”

LOS GATOS, CA – Canadian Netflix subscribers are about to pay a dollar more per month than whatever they’ve been paying up to now, which, honestly, no one can remember. The streaming compan…

New law forces Albertans to carry at least one barrel of bitumen in luggage when travelling to West Coast

EDMONTON – In response to an industry-wide glut caused by an inability to get its oil to Pacific tankers, the Notley government has decreed that every Albertan travelling to the West Coast …