Washington – With only six months until the 2022 midterm election, many within the Democratic National Committee are worried that the young, energetic, left wing voter base behind candidates lik...
Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!
By: James Kulenschmidt Ladies, I get it. You don’t like the leaked U.S. Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. You think you should have the right to control your own reproductive syste...
Amid rising gas prices, Flintstone cars top sales
OTTAWA, ON — Flinstone cars, officially known as Cavemobiles, top car sales in Canada amid rising gas prices as Canadians try to cut costs wherever they can. With gas prices well above 170 cents/litre...
Toddler better at using iPad than local man is at doing anything
Regina, SK – Local man Michael Edugyan has realized that the 3 year old toddler seated near him at this restaurant is better at using her iPad than he is at doing everything in his life. “...
PROFILE: Who is Steven Del Duca? No seriously, can someone please tell me?
Steven Del Duca is the Ontario Liberal Party’s new leader and candidate for Premier. So just who is Steven Del Duca? No seriously, I’m honestly asking. Which one is he again? His first name and ovular...
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
VANCOUVER – It was last Saturday, a brisk afternoon on Main Street, just North of 5th Avenue. I was the person walking their wiener dog. You were the public urinator. When I saw you there, hunch...
“Uh, that’s also how they’re supposed to work” says techbro as NFT market drops 92%
SILICON VALLEY – Amid reports that NFT sales have plummeted 92% since September, the techbro who has struggled to explain what NFTs even are is also assuring you that “the drop is also definitel...
Studies confirm watching an in-flight movie from four rows behind makes it 10x better
VANCOUVER, BC — Researchers at University of British Columbia have confirmed the theory that watching an in-flight movie from four rows behind makes it 10x better. “It’s an age-old question that hasn&...
Guy who bought electric car last year struggling not to be smug about gas prices
TORONTO – Chris Landon, who bought a Kia Niro EV in early 2021 is trying real hard not to be a smug piece of shit when his friends and colleagues talk about how terrible gas prices are. “H...
