Well over 24 hours since they disqualified Patrick Brown from the leadership campaign for “serious allegations of wrongdoing” the Conservative Party still has not announced what Brown actu...
Population of Manitoba plummets when residents realize they’re allowed to leave
WINNIPEG -The Province of Manitoba has experienced a devastating population collapse after former residents learned that they could just, like, leave whenever they wanted to, and it wasn’t even illega...
Five ways to guilt friends into seeing your terrible Fringe Play
It’s Fringe season, y’all. You’ve spent months — or at least hours — writing and rehearsing your masterpiece. A dance interpretation of the House Hippo PSA told from the ...
Critics question whether new Downton Abbey movie really needed to open the multiverse
HOLLYWOOD – Inspired by hit movies like Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, the new Downton Abbey film will introduce multiverse theory into the lives of the beloved Crawley family. The unexp...
Need advice overthrowing a democratically elected government? Better Call Brad!
Paid Advertisement Have you or your family failed to win public support for violently overthrowing a Canadian government? Are you occupying a country’s capital but failing to win any sympathy because ...
Canadian man spends entire summer inventing excuses for why he can’t go camping
Stratford, ON – Local man Eric Morgenstern will once again be spending his summer thinking of reasons why he can’t join friends on their upcoming camping trips. “Life would be so muc...
Nine percent rise in gas prices forces CEO to triple own salary
Irving, Texas – CEOs from oil and gas companies are suffering just like the rest of us, so much so that in light of rising inflation and “other stuff,” they’ve been forced to triple their yearly...
Boyfriend blissfully unaware of how often partner weeps at his imaginary funeral
WINNIPEG – Local Jared Marshall lives a peaceful life in Manitoba; working by day, relaxing by night, all the while unaware that behind closed doors his partner weeps at the idea of his imaginar...
“I’m actually a mixologist,” says bartender about to charge you $27.50 for a gin and tonic
CALGARY – A bartender at a cocktail joint called the Top Hat is about to charge you an exorbitant sum for a two-ingredient drink, according to tipsy sources who are feeling ripped off. “So this gin h...
Netflix announces final season of Stranger Things will consist of six 15-hour movies, released randomly over the next decade
LOS GATOS, CA – The streaming service Netflix has not only officially announced that the hit show Stranger Things will return for its fifth and final season, but that the season will be composed...
