WINNIPEG – Local accounts analyst Portia Kim wowed guests at her dinner party last night when she announced the pumpkin ginger bisque would be accompanied by olive oil and balsamic body shots. “...
Musk makes twitter profitable by charging users $8 to leave
SAN FRANCISCO – Newly minted Twitter owner Elon Musk has announced an ambitious plan to generate profit for the first time in company history by charging its users a fee to quit the site. Althou...
CUPE overrides Ford’s Notwithstanding Clause with their own ‘Notlistening Clause’
TORONTO – After the Ontario PCs used the Notwithstanding Clause to cancel a strike impose a contract that, adjusted for inflation, represents a pay cut for Ontario’s education support staf...
Report: Sale of Ottawa Senators have many concerned team may move to Ottawa
KANATA, ON – Fans of the Ottawa Senators are worried the team may relocate to Ottawa instead of remaining in the suburb of Kanata. “I would be fine with Manotick, Greely, or even Prescott-Russel...
Capitalism win! Local man’s day off busier than his day on
TORONTO, ON — In a landmark win for capitalism, a local Torontonian man finds himself busier on his two days off than on the five days he’s at work. “I think this feels right,” said Gary Ma. “I work 4...
Convoy Inquiry reveals Ottawa Police’s controversial “good cop, seditionist cop” strategy
OTTAWA – The Emergencies Act inquiry has revealed that Ottawa police officers leaked information to the so-called Freedom Convoy as part of their ingenious strategy to combat the protestors. “First we...
Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insists healthcare system is in great shape as long as you don’t need healthcare
HALIFAX – In a press conference Wednesday, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insisted that reports of Nova Scotia’s crumbling healthcare system have been overblown, and that the province’s healthc...
Report: Including magical clause in Charter that makes all our rights disappear may have been mistake
TORONTO – In light of Scott Moe, Doug Ford and Francois Legault’s rampant use of the Notwithstanding Clause to pass legislation that violates the Charter Of Rights And Freedoms some politi...
Editorial: Vicious attacks on Charter Rights are fine as long as I don’t have to spend more time with my kids
By: Lester Bueller As the media throws up yet another hissy fit over Doug Ford and Stephen Lecce using the Notwithstanding Clause yet again I just have to say: I don’t care. Ford and Lecce can t...
Report: The only thing that loves you unconditionally also loves licking its own butthole
VANCOUVER – Researchers at the University of British Columbia Faculty of Science report that the only thing that loves you without question feels the same way about tonguing its tuchus. The expe...
