“You nailed it man. Way to figure it out!” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and special guest Brandon Hackett) talk about Jimmy Kimmel’s absurd suspension, wonder how ...
Trump says Ukraine can have all its occupied territory back if it beats Putin’s offer
NEW YORK CITY – In a private meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelenskyy, US President Donald Trump stated he fully believes the embattled nation can take back all of its territory curre...
Landlord claims space under porch counts as second bedroom
35 Minutes Away From Where You’d Ideally Like To Live – Frank Moriarty, the landlord of the apartment you took the afternoon off from work to view, told you today that the space under the front ...
Homophobic! Single lesbian has no girlfriend to watch Lilith Fair documentary with
TORONTO – Local lesbian Charlotte Tremblay reports recently experiencing a terrible incident of targeted discrimination after realizing she has no girlfriend to watch the new Lilith Fair documentary w...
CRA addresses long call centre wait times by hiring CRA scammers
OTTAWA – In an effort to cut down call centre wait times, the Canada Revenue Agency has hired a new team of agents uniquely equipped to handle calls from concerned taxpayers: scammers who say you owe ...
Danielle Smith invokes notwithstanding clause to win argument with spouse
EDMONTON – According to sources in the Premier’s household, Danielle Smith has invoked the notwithstanding clause to make her husband take out the trash. “As a libertarian-minded politician and spous...
Return of Jimmy Kimmel Show cheered by frazzled parents who white knuckled it through a weekend without Disney+
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has announced late night host Jimmy Kimmel will return to ABC, a move cheered by free speech advocates and even more so by exhausted parents who cancelled t...
Horoscope says Mercury will pass through the fifth house before slamming into your house
YOUR HOME – According to local astrologists, the planet Mercury hates your guts and is coming to kill you and everyone you love. “What your friends and family want you to do and what you need to do d...
US Ambassador threatens to tariff, annex, and bomb Canada if anti-American sentiment doesn’t improve
OTTAWA – U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra has vowed to improve anti-American sentiment he sees in Canada, no matter how many illegal tariffs, forced annexations, or literal bombs it takes to do it....
“Charlie Kirk would have wanted us to get anyone criticizing his views fired,” says man accurately describing why Charlie Kirk deserved criticism
“The guy who created a list of left-wing college professors he wanted fired for their views would want us to fire anyone who pointed out who he created a to be fired list.” Luke and the Pa...
