CHARLOTTETOWN – The Premier of Prince Edward Island, apparently someone named Rob Lantz, released a statement demanding a response from Ottawa on the 2019 separation referendum that resulted in ...
OPINION: The AI Crash will all be worth it if I just get to lay just a few thousand people off
by Jameson Varner, CEO I’m the CEO of a major accounting firm, which means I have my finger on the market’s pulse. Both financial and tech journalists have been predicting that artificial ...
RFK Jr. criticizes science behind seatbelts
Washington, D.C. – In another upending of health rules and regulations from the new administration, secretary of health RFK Jr. has revealed the true dangers of seat belt use. “Seatbelts may be ...
Steven Guilbeault resigns from cabinet after Danielle Smith threatens to build new pipeline through his house
OTTAWA – With Prime Minister Mark Carney and Alberta Premier Danielle Smith signing a new pipeline agreement, Canada’s Minister of Canadian Identity and Culture Steven Guilbeault resigned from c...
Huge Black Friday lineup turns out to just be for Food Bank
HAMILTON, ON – Local residents this morning report driving past an excitingly long lineup and assuming it was for a blowout Black Friday sale, before realizing that it was just a regular queue f...
Danielle Smith uses notwithstanding clause to declare herself premier of B.C.
VICTORIA – British Columbians were shocked today to be informed by Alberta Premier Danielle Smith that she is now the head of the B.C. government after using the notwithstanding clause (section ...
Tim Hortons reminds Campbell’s customers that they also make bad soup for poor slobs
TORONTO – Following the news that a top Campbell’s executive was fired after being caught on microphone calling the company’s soups “shit for poor people”, Tim Hortons have released a statement ...
New Campaign Manager excited to bring fresh, moderate ideas that Poilievre will ignore
“I can’t wait to lay out a series of pragmatic proposals that people will respond to, and see Pierre ignore them in favour of an ‘owning the libs’ game plan yet again.” L...
Satan unsure how to deal with sinners who are in Hell for masochistic sex
SECOND CIRCLE OF HELL ― Speaking over screams for pity and the roaring wind buffeting those unfortunate souls convicted of regular lust, the Prince of Darkness expressed frustration Wednesday with the...
Removal of CRTC content quotas for porn leads to cancellation of next five Eric Peterson projects
OTTAWA – The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission will no longer impose Canadian Content quotas on pornographic websites, leading to the cancellation of several upcoming p...
