Silver medalists only survivors of Transylvania Olympics
TIMIŞOARA – The 2022 Transylvania Olympics, which invites “hale and sanguineous” athletes from around the world to compete in Romania, has concluded with only the silver medalists appearing at th…
Toronto friends plan to meet for coffee four months from now
TORONTO – After a chance encounter, long-time friends Sylvia Majersky and Lillian Silvers excitedly planned to meet for coffee 117 days from the day they both told each other they “absolutely” sh…
British Prime Minister regenerates into Rishi Sunak
LONDON — The news is in! The 57th incarnation of the iconic British Prime Minister will be Rishi Sunak. Sunak will be the youngest Prime Minister in 200 years, as well as being the first person o…
Rogers exec keeps side hustle
TORONTO – Rogers Family board member John Tory has been allowed to continue his night job as mayor of the city of Toronto. “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to serve the people o…
Premier Danielle Smith blasts media for old comments she made 30 minutes ago
EDMONTON – Alberta’s premier accused members of the media for using “ancient” comments she made approximately 30 minutes ago in a press conference. “I made these statements about Ukrainians…
Hans Zimmer score added to video feed of colonoscopy
HAMILTON — Long known for their novel approach to the practice of medicine, the Hamilton Endoscopy Centre has made it a standard practice to add Hans Zimmer film score music to the video feed of …
Editorial: Trudeau could have ended the Freedom Convoy protest in no time if he’d just let them kill him
By: Bryce Duclair As the inquest into the use of the Emergencies Act drags on into it’s third week, the defenders of Justin Trudeau’s horrific abolition of civil rights keep saying it…
Inspiring! These #vanlife influencers are destigmatizing homelessness for hot, rich 20-somethings
BRAMPTON, ON – Local 20-somethings Brittany McKennah and Lindseigh Tott are showing the world that living out of your van is nothing to be ashamed of, provided you’re hot, rich, and young. …
New Seattle Kraken mascot expected to either fight or mate with Gritty
SEATTLE, WA – Following the unveiling of Buoy, the abomination currently serving as the mascot for the Seattle Krakens, experts have been divided as to how the joyful creature will interact…
Canadians about to elect Pierre Poilievre PM have fun laugh over Liz Truss debacle
OTTAWA – Canadians from coast to coast have spent the last 24 hours enjoying the rapid and chaotic end of Liz Truss’ era as Prime Minister, as they also indicate to pollsters that the…
