WASHINGTON D.C. – Under the terms of the contract signed ten years ago, President Trump ordered his longtime ally Lindsay Graham to undertake the sacred ritual of transferring his life’s es…
Politics
Poilievre vows to “fight woke culture” following new galactic disco cowboy makeover
CALGARY – Addressing a rally of Conservative voters at the Calgary Stampede, Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre has vowed to “reinstill a warrior culture, not a woke culture”, t…
Mark Carney promises to take climate change seriously once every other problem on Earth is solved
OTTAWA – After receiving criticism this week for abandoning the Trudeau-era climate plan, Prime Minister Mark Carney has assured Canadians worried about the already deadly effects of global…
“More, more, keep cutting, cut more!” screams now-bald Carney at terrified barber
OTTAWA, ON ― Suddenly dropping his calm, boring, bankerish public façade, Prime Minister Mark Carney responded to a simple inquiry as to how his haircut was looking so far with a screaming, red-f…
“Democratic socialists are taking over!!” declared about US politicians who would at best be Canadian Red Tories
NEW YORK STATE – In the wake of several progressive Democratic primary victories, American pundits have expressed extreme concern over the victors’ “far left politics” des…
Carney announces plan to privatize airports but still give them half a billion dollars once in a while
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a funding model which would see Canada’s federally-owned and operated airports become 100% privately owned, but still get half a billion do…
Carney assures Canadians that AI the fastest way to give all our money to US billionaires
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark has unveiled his new federal AI strategy, promising Canadians that artificial intelligence technology is the most advanced, efficient way to surrender all of ou…
Carney to replace Steven Guilbeault’s seat with burning tailings pond
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has absorbed the resignation from Parliament by climate activist Steven Guilbeault, immediately announcing that his seat would be replaced with a tar san…
Man claims Canadian first amendment rights infringed when people refuse to listen to his opinion
REGINA – Aspiring social media political influencer Brandon Andreychuk is claiming censorship after his talk at the University of Regina was canceled by what he calls “out of control leftis…
Carney clarifies “Buy Canadian” also means public assets
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced that “Buy Canadian” policies now means Canadians can now support the country’s economy by purchasing local public assets like ports, airpor…
