CANADA—Canada has repeatedly confirmed to numerous sources that “everybody else for sure knows” it is “absolutely flying, guys.” The 151-year-old nation, which today legalized the recreational us…
30-year old woman drinking water at bar wants you to know she’s not pregnant
CALGARY -—During a friend’s birthday party at O’Malley’s bar, 30-year-old, recently married marketing consultant Annie Pierre has reportedly assured upwards of 12 attendees that, despite her refu…
Baby never happier than when vomiting
CALGARY —- Researchers have confirmed that 9-month old Grace McMillan, despite enjoying other activities such as interacting with loved ones and playing with toys, reaches greatest levels of happ…
Lindsey Graham demands FBI investigation into whether sexual assault even that big a deal
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the FBI begins its investigation of sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, Senator Lindsay Graham has called for an investigation int…
Poll finds 17% of Canadians would support Maxime Bernier’s party just to see look on Andrew Scheer’s face
OTTAWA—A new poll shows that a surprisingly high number of Canadians would support the new People’s Party launched by Maxime Bernier solely for the pleasure of watching Conservative leader Andrew…
Conservatives reassure voters that citizenship begins at conception
HALIFAX — Following the its biannual convention, the Conservative Party of Canada has reassured voters of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conc…
Nation shares a laugh after remembering what Boris Johnson looks like
CANADA — Following reports that former UK Foreign Minister Boris Johnson has been building an alliance with Trump advisor Steve Bannon, his recent departure from Parliament, and numerous ot…
Oh no! The Trump baby balloon learned to speak and now it’s calling Theresa May the C-word!
The good news: The Trump baby balloon, a hilarious helium blimp making a mocking caricature of Donald Trump has delighted anti-Trump protesters in London and become an all-out international sensa…
5 great gifts for your grads that aren’t letting them move back in with you
Congratulations! Your son or daughter is almost ready to walk across that stage and become the university graduate ready to take on the world you always knew they would be. Here are 5 ideas for g…
Progress! Woman-friendly workplace installs crying room
VANCOUVER—As more and more women have fought their way into once male-dominated careers, some employers have been slow to adjust to the needs of female employees. But thanks to some creative and …
