By: Dalton Henderson, NHL Linesman That’s right you fucking rubes, get in the faceoff circle and put your sticks in, because you think I’m about to drop this puck. Well spoiler alert …
Tag: Featured Post
Weatherman predicting thunderstorm condemned for encouraging rain
VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil &…
Top 10 medical exemptions granted to unvaccinated Conservative MPs
Canada’s Parliament resumed yesterday, and Erin O’Toole has announced that multiple Conservative MPs received medical exemptions to the requirement that everyone be vaccinated to ente…
Life coach benches client
CALGARY – Scouts report that life coach Tom Duggan is replacing his client, Simon Pike, after Pike turned in an incredibly underwhelming performance during the first half of his life. “Simon, I r…
Terrorist murderer found not guilty by jury of his peers
KENOSHA, Wis. – Terrorist murderers breathed a sigh of relief today upon the news that a jury composed of twelve terrorism and murder sympathizers found terrorist murderer Kyle Rittenhouse …
B.C. Public Safety Minister clarifies that title is ceremonial, like “Princess” or “Birthday Boy”
VICTORIA – After yet another disaster during which the provincial government left crucial public safety decisions up to a patchwork of small municipalities, the B.C. Minister of Public Safe…
Alberta decides not to have referendum on accepting $3.8 billion in childcare funding from Ottawa
EDMONTON – Despite having a recent referendum on whether equalization payments should be removed from the constitution, the government of Alberta has decided that a vote will not be necessa…
BC Ferries launches new route to Kamloops
KAMLOOPS, BC – BC Ferries has announced a new service from Victoria to Kamloops, weaving through the newly established inlets and fjords. “We’re proud to be seizing the opportunities that c…
COP26 delegates promise to announce plan to cut global emissions 45% by 2030 in 2031
GLASGOW – The UN Climate Change Summit concluded yesterday with delegates from the representative countries promising to release a detailed plan to meet the much needed 45% emission cut by …
Supply chain issues continue to flummox nation’s “guys who know a guy”
VANCOUVER – Distributors continue to struggle with supply chain issues as economies reopen around the world. As a result, Canadians can expect to be waiting longer and paying more whether s…
